| SINEMA |
| film projections and video surveillance |
| 2007 viewing | |
| Barely Legal
Reminiscent of the excellent Girl Next Door with the porno movie angle, plus the usual array of faked come shots, teenage virgin boys, bared breasts, obligatory stripteases, lockerroom peepshows, stupid comedy, and lousy plotting, Barely Legal ended up being the least painful of the four to watch. It even had Tom Arnold as the clueless dad. Well...what a way to end the 2007 viewing year. Perhaps I can squeeze in Blade Runner: The Final Cut on DVD before New Year's Eve? Have already watched the 214 minute (PAL) making-of documentary Dangerous Days: Making Blade Runner. |
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| American Pie: The Naked Mile
If nothing else, American Pie: The Naked Mile has the most female nudity out of the four movies I hired today. As you can guess, though, this franchise is taking a heavy post-mortem beating. The Naked Mile features Stifler's cousin Eric, who is a virgin (naturally). He ends up running the Naked Mile campus race with hundreds of other naked and semi-naked students. There's lots of drinking and bared breasts – full frontal female nudity is kept to a minimum, although there's more of that content than actual comedy. Jesus wept. I suppose the aggro dwarves were amusing for at least few minutes of screen time. |
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| Reno 911!: Miami Uncut
Presented by Comedy Central, Reno 911!: Miami is a satire/spoof mockumentary similar to The Office, by way of Police Academy IV perhaps. And a lame one at that. I chuckled a few times, thus putting it ahead of Epic Movie by half a star. A hick police squad from Reno end up being the only able law enforcement officers in Miami, due to a bio-disaster at a police convention. To explain any more of the plot than that would be too soul destroying. The script has a bit more vim than Epic Movie, but still manages to be a complete embarrassment. The horror genre suddenly looks healthy in comparison to what passes for mainstream comedy these days, honestly. The cameo by The Rock and the hotel masturbation scenes were the highlights. |
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| Epic Movie: Unrated
It's summer in Australia, and not just summer, but stinking hot, too. Today was Sunday December 30th, so it seemed appropriate to hire a four-pack of dumb teensploitation sex comedies and watch them back to back, as one does. Alcohol and munchies would have helped. The first, Epic Movie, spoofs a number of big budget flicks from the last 18 months, none of which are much better than Epic Movie itself. Cue painful gags and unfunny impersonations. 30 minutes of Mad TV has more laughs than this shit. Three OK aspects: Carmen Electra as Mystique, The Eagles of Death Metal doing part of a song, and the production values. Not sure what was restored for this unrated version; perhaps some female nudity, if anything. |
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| Tales of Terror
A shockingly dated and tedious AIP Roger Corman adaptation of three Edgar Allen Poe stories from the pen of master scribe Richard Matheson. So what went wrong? All three tales are just painfully kitsch, even allowing for when they were made and the small budgets. Peter Lorre is passably quirky in 'The Black Cat' and the cinematography, presented in its original scope ratio, shows off the paper maché sets admirably. I suppose Tales of Terror is worth grabbing for the collection if you can find it for less than ten bucks. |
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| Four Weddings and a Funeral +
At long bloody last, someone has released a remastered DVD and given it special edition treatment in Australia. I suspect this is just the 2004 US package ported into PAL format. Whatever. I grabbed it without hesitation from the retail shelf and watched it that night. The movie still holds up and serves as the perfect companion to the other Richard Curtis triumph Notting Hill. The less said about promising yet awful Love Actually the better. Incidentally, banter on the commentary track of Four Weddings explains why Love Actually turned out to be crap: sometimes Curtis can't help constructing gags at the expense of realism, and as the first-time director of Love Actually, there was nobody around to reign in this tendency on that film. |
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| Young Adam
A watchable psychosexual drama that was released in a censored form in the US to remove a shot of Euan McGreggor's willy. Of course, SBS screened it uncut. I'm not sure any release on home video in Australia was cut either, but I can't speak for the cinema print, which I never saw. It's a solid film that is worth watching once. McGreggor and the supporting cast are all great, as is the cinematography. |
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| Loose Change: Final Cut
This second viewing was less overwhelming than the first one. Key points not covered here should surface in the extended version on the forthcoming, fully stocked DVD. |
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| Loose Change: Final Cut
Here it is, the revised, redux, shaken and stirred version of the 9/11 documentary Loose Change: Second Edition that millions of people have already seen, primarily from copies circulated around the world. Does Final Cut replace Second Edition? Not entirely, no. In my opinion, the previous version contains better, more methodical explanations of key 9/11 events and their inherent contradictions, while also wasting time (about 20%) on speculation that posited some remote or impossible to prove theories. Perhaps acknowledging ground previously covered, Final Cut takes a different approach. It ignores all tangents and side issues, instead playing actual news footage from CBS, Fox, NBC, CNN, BBC, and other broadcasters to illustrate the main problems with the official story. All up, there is a stack of information presented, much of it no doubt uncovered since the Second Edition was made a few years ago. To present as much pertinent material as possible, dozens of absolutely damning documents, personal statements, and video snippets flash by in rapid succession. The most valuable footage appears to be brand new to this Final Cut, including numerous eye witness accounts of bombs going off on lower and ground floors of the World Trade towers before they collapsed; Norman Mineta describing the infamous incident at the Pentagon inferring that Dick Cheney knew a plane was approaching and not only did nothing, but seems to have been enforcing a stand-down order; and puzzled officials and newscasters describing the lack of wreckage at Flight 93's crash site. The section on the destruction of World Trade Building 7, which was never hit by a plane, is also exhaustive. So while I do miss the instructional value of Second Edition, Final Cut ultimately trumps it by showing TV media content from the time that is impossible to refute. A longer version of Final Cut may be released on DVD at a later date – this 2007 edition was restricted to the traditional two-hour time limit for feature films that have a chance of a theatrical run. Finally, to get a good overview of 9/11, I reckon you still need to watch the following: 9/11: Press for Truth (which received a good write-up in The Age Green Guide), 9/11 Mysteries: Demolitions, Loose Change: Second Edition, Loose Change: Final Cut, and perhaps Terrorstorm in order to learn about the history of false flag operations. |
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| The Replacement Killers: Extended Cut
It's still a shit movie. Fresh from making commercials, first time filmmaker Antoine Fuqua, who went on to make a minor thriller classic in Training Day, was basically handed this vehicle to get Chow Yun Fat into the American film business. The script is garbage but Fuqua tries to make amends with stylish cinematography. CYF and Miro Sorvino, who does a terrific job here as a tough forger who can also handle herself when the bullets fly, are both highly watchable, as is Michael Rooker as the cop. However, that's where the casting and acting virtues stop dead. The rest of the players come off badly. Wince. This extended by ten minutes edition does not seem to contain any restored violence. Meh. |
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| Monty Python and the Holy Grail
I saw the stage show Spamalot last week. Here's the movie that inspired it, actually Python's first feature film. As usual it's very hit-and-miss, with the coconut horse gag being the main comedic masterstroke, which somehow kept being funny throughout the whole picture. I also like the opening credits, the witch sequence, and most of the early sketches – not surprisingly most of these appear verbatim in the stage musical. The second half of the movie stumbles from good to mediocre, but I do know that Monty Python fans can't get enough of this stuff. The low budget probably helped, and I'm assuming that it improves on repeated viewings. Be sure to watch the hilarious trailer in the special edition DVD. |
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| Miami Vice: Unrated Director's Edition
Excuse me...what the hell is going on here? It seems that Michael Mann has joined the swelling ranks of good or once promising directors who've bought into the whole remake or homage bullshit. But the worst thing about this uninspired abortion is that it is boring, tame, dull, pretentious, and dumb. In short, Miami Vice is utterly lugubrious. The biggest problem, of course, is boredom. Action flicks should not be boring. Another aspect that hurts the film is all of the scenes shot at night. I never drive interstate at night. Why? Because it's a fucken recipe for falling asleep at the wheel doing 121 km/h. And if you're properly caffeinated, the trip turns your brain into oatmeal because the lack of scenery makes the journey horrendously monotonous. Therefore, too many night scenes = bad. (Yes, I know most smuggling ops probably go down at night. Remember that Mann shouldn't have been making this damn movie in the first place.) Another problem is Mann's insistence that such established characters as Crockett (Colin Farrell) and Tubbs (Jamie Foxx) needed no reintroduction or fleshing out. But what if we (a) couldn't remember 20 years ago what they were like, or (b) don't give a shit anymore about a 1980s TV show? And so you've got Farrell and Foxx underplaying their DOA roles. Also, Farrell just looks silly with his Movember whiskers and combed-back mullet. Intermittent shots of gigantic power boats skimming the waves off the coast of Miami don't help to keep this clichéd shipwreck afloat. One worthy scene involves a trailer park hostage crisis, and I suppose it was fun to see the shopkeeper from From Dusk Till Dawn again, even if he gets snuffed early on (again). Keep your favourite dunny-reading print matter handy during the rest. |
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| Witchfinder General +
MGM USA (now owned by Sony Pictures) comes through again. Here is the uncensored version of Witchfinder General, transferred from an intact print. If you've read my review of the UK and Aussie PAL DVDs, you would know that this best-at-the-time uncut release had the missing scenes inserted from a 4:3 tape source, further stretched horizontally to fill the 16:9 ratio. For those familiar with the changes made for the original US AIP release The Conqueror Worm, note that the MGM disc has the original orchestral music score, but also the no-nudity shots instead of the more indecorous European tits-out alteratives. There's a niffty 25 minute featurette in the DVD supplements, too. |
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| That Thing You Do: Tom Hanks' Extended Cut
Perhaps the ultimate anathema to both fright fans and death metalheads, That Thing You Do! is the true story of a one-hit band from the 1960s called The Wonders. Now, to be honest, I only bought this DVD because it was cheap and it boasted the extended version – i.e. the kinds of releases I'm partial to owning, as if it wasn't obvious. So I had very low expectations. Written and directed by Tom Hanks, it was always going to be competent, feel good, squeaky clean, and an authentic period piece. The best thing about the movie was that the actors cast as each of the Wonders actually could play their instruments. There are no cut-aways during their performances, which are always in sync with the audio (an effing rarity). For this ex-garage band drummer, the live playing aspect alone made the film worth catching. Be warned, though, that the hit song 'That Thing You Do!' loops about 483 times throughout the movie. No wonder the band imploded. |
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| From Beyond +
Stuart Gordon's much anticipated follow-up to horror fanboy favourite Re-Animator (1986) misses the mark in many respects. Somehow the story's scope is narrower than Re-Animator's – whether due to budget restrictions or the intentions of Gordon, I have no idea. Now 20 years old, From Beyond does benefit from its 1980s vintage affectations, making this superb uncensored (at long last) US DVD a must-have Xmas gift item for any serious genre freakozoid. Like its predecessor, the film is based on a weird tale by H.P. Lovecraft called 'Beyond the Wall of Sleep', in which a scientist schooled in the arcane arts summons forth creatures from a parallel dimension by using a machine to make visible what is normally hidden. Predictably, the creatures achieve corporality and give the scientist a hard time. In the movie version, Stuart Gordon chucks in an S&M dungeon, mutants from beyond, Jeffery Combs as a brain munching fiend, Barbara Crampton getting tied up twice, Ken Foree (Dawn of the Dead) eaten alive by a swarm of ecto-insects, decapitations, monsters, brain sucking through eye sockets, pineal stalk tearing via teeth, and so on. A fine old frolic for the whole family! The plodding quality of the narrative could probably be ameliorated by downing a few cans of Bogan and cola. I've scheduled it in for 2008. Actually, it's about time I watched bloody Re-Animator, too. |
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| Zombie Holocaust +
Saturday November 24th, the night of the Australian federal election. Gore film glutton that I am, Zombie Holocaust was a relatively recent R1 import that itched to be seen on a special occasion, and here it was. The connection is that when those Customs father-rapers busted me in on October 11th 1991, they were clutching a VHS copy of Zombie Holocaust. It seems that this title, and an issue of Boiled Angel, prompted them into action. Well, in the words of my weblog regulars, "Get fucked censor cunts!" Once the early election figures showed that Labour was going to win, I slipped Zombie Holocaust into my Pioneer DV-S737 and pressed Play. I had even planned to get pissed, but with a flick like this, you just don't need it. Zombie Holocaust has it all: graphic hospital mutilations; nasty cannibals and nasty zombies; dodgy medical experiments performed on dull-eyed natives; pointless female nudity with a bonus ritual sacrifice featuring the sexy white woman (under a trance of course); graphic violence and gore that includes eviscerations, an eye gouging, impaling on stakes, brain surgery, scalpings, a throat slashing, and a boat propeller in the face; a mannequin thrown from a building that was supposed to represent a suicide victim (the hospital butcher), but an arm flies off when it hits the footpath; rank dialogue; the obligatory conflagration climax, and a lousy off-screen denouement for the Evil Deluded Doctor. Plus other goodies. The DVD has been released locally by Umbrella via Shock, but they never got this complete version reclassified by the OFLC. The old VHS rental was a censored abortion. I watched the US Shriek Show release. The carnage in Zombie Holocaust echoed what I saw Labour do to the Liberals when I switched the election coverage back on, heh heh. Rip their guts out and eat it, Ruddy!!!!!! |
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| Hellboy: Director's Cut
I wanted to see the longer director's cut first, but it's never come out in Aussieland, so I imported this secondhand edition from Yankeeland. Being a live action adaptation of a comic book, my low expectations were met. This is Guillermo del Toro at work with a huge budget and enough time to spend the pesos. It's certainly all up there on screen – the production design just looks incredible. In terms of story and character, however, something got lost in the translation, as happens with nearly all of these ventures. The silly, juvenile aspects that work well on the printed page clash with normal elements. These directors seem to forget they're making a B-movie, and instead strive for Gone with the Wind with monsters. To my mind, Sin City and 300 are the most successful comic book adaptations of recent times. The trick is to ditch orthodox story-telling approaches all together. Go for style and stay true to the source material. Hellboy is nevertheless very engaging to watch: there's usually something freaky happening every five minutes, and Ron Perlman in the lead role is excellent. It was also interesting to see shades of Pan's Labyrinth in some bits, for example when Rasputin puts in his glass eyes. The CGI monsters were well handled, although (again) too fluid and 'busy' to be believable. The violence is clearly pitched at the US PG-13 level, and that really hurts the picture, because by and large, this is a rather sinister faery tale, so to hold back on the grue doesn't ring true. Oh yeah, and it's got Nazis. And Selma Blair. |
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| The Duellists +
A repeat viewing of Ridley Scott's first movie, inspired by watching Blade Runner at the Astor. Still good fun, if a bit wacky. Based on a story by Joseph Conrad. Scott's use of existing locations to save money makes the film look much more lavish than it cost to make – less than a million dollars. |
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| Blade Runner: The Final Cut +
Film projection is dead. Film itself will be around for a long time yet, but film projection died in the arse tonight, Thursday, November 15th, with the first Melbourne digital screening of the melancholy 'future noir' classic Blade Runner at the Astor. The beauty of digital projection this good is that, as with DVD, you actually get to see the film negative up on screen, or at least a perfect digital scan of it. Normal release prints are second or third generation from the original negative, with a loss of detail and colour purity with each copy made, together with more grain. Speaking of grain, this Sony 4K projection of Blade Runner featured a super fine mesh of film grain that came and went depending on the speed of the film and whether the shot contained any special effects, which can require several printings and optical processes composited to form one sequence. But enough propeller head waffle. It's been a few years since I last saw Blade Runner on DVD. The first time was at the drive-in with dad and my brother, who both fell asleep. Not me. Seeing it tonight evoked that sublime initial viewing experience, and I sensed that the crowd felt the same way, because everyone was positively reverent. These Astor regulars take their cult films seriously – tonight was more like a pilgrimage than a night out at the flicks. If I could, I would have been drinking cans of Wild Turkey and cola and laughing up the wry humour and signature dialogue. So instead I just internalised that shit and soaked up the giant performances of the characters, human or otherwise. This final director's cut version boasts about 100 subtle tweaks and restored MPAA censorship cuts. Changing the line "I want more life, fucker" to "I want more life, Father" kind of jars against the vicious murder that follows, so I prefer the original take on that one. And I'm not sure what happened to the missing scene with Holden in hospital? Otherwise, this edition is definitive. Before BR started, we were treated to a little spoken introduction on stage, along with a trailer for Pixar's Cars in 4K that looked fucken stupendous. Film projection is dead. |
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| Hostel Part II +
Some twits reckon this sequel is better than the original. Um, I beg to differ. Half way through this rental DVD censorship cuts scan, I switched to the audio commentary because boredom had set in. As one expects from MPAA medling, the cuts are minor. Overall, this sequel is not as violent as the original, which is a pity because crap horror movies need as much gore as possible to sustain interest. That said, the Elizabeth Bathory 'bloody baptism' scene is a killer, even if it could have gone a lot further. |
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| Knocked Up: Extended Edition +
This extended version contains a few disposable additions that fans of the film might welcome. If you saw it theatrically, I recommend renting the DVD first. After this repeat viewing, it's kind of left me feeling rather blah about Knocked Up. The obvious unlikelyhood of Alison and Ben hooking up grates on you more the second time through. Will it make Toxic Waste's Top Five for 2007? The jury is still out. Dropping my rating from 8/10 to 7/10 doesn't augur well for Mr Apatow, who is no doubt in Hollywood fretting no end over winning this prestigious accolade. |
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| Magnolia +
Paul Thomas Anderson's grotesque, bloated, ironic melodrama somehow remains a compelling viewing experience after several passes. I still can't bring myself to improve on my score of 7/10, though. The average vote on IMDB stands at a respectable 8/10. Tom Cruise's pick-up coach persona was based on 'Fast Seduction' guru, Ross Jefferies. Anderson's self-indulgent slide continued with the clever/execrable Punch Drunk Love. I'm still looking forward to There Will Be Blood, PTA's oil barron flick. Let's hope it's not Dallas updated for 2007. Advanced word says it's not quite a return to form. Technically it should be flawless. |
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| Runaway Train +
Here's the first title in a brace of films I decided to rewatch. I first saw this one on laserdisc at a friend's insistence about eight years ago now. The DVD is now available in Australia and going cheap, so collectors of 1980s action movies take note. However, Runaway Train offers something more sublime and haunting than most prison break movies. Directed by Russian filmmaker Andrei Konchalovsky from a story by Akira Kurosawa, the film brilliantly merges suspense with a psychodrama played out between two escapees (the utterly convincing Jon Voight and Eric Roberts) and their nemesis, Warden Ranken (John P. Ryan). Runaway Train is a fine example of a film that executes is modest ambitions perfectly. If you've never seen it, hurray up and grab a copy. |
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| Death at a Funeral
The large older crowd at my Sunday afternoon screening were probably enticed both by the horrid weather, and by good word of mouth. Ultimately the film was all right, if underdeveloped. I didn't so much as clear my throat until the poo scene – a good hour into the film. There's also some more male nudity which, after seeing Viggo Mortensen rolling around a sauna buff nekkid in Eastern Promises, I had definitely overdosed on in one 24-hour period, thanks very much. Death at a Funeral is best seen with friends. |
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| Eastern Promises
The new David Cronenberg. And I just happened to catch it in the same cinema I saw A History of Violence in. To celebrate, I bought another glass of red wine and settled in to see this R 18+ classified thriller. It was enjoyable, though very much trading on recycled organised crime constants we've all seen a million times: vicious bosses, violent hits, payback hits, undercover contacts, ordinary people sliding in over their heads, and so on. Many of these tropes were featured of A History of Violence too. The three stand-out moments of graphic violence are: two throat slashings, and one superb fight sequence with a nude Mortensen fending off two attackers who want to carve him up. It's all still MA 15+ content really. WIth Saw IV also getting an R 18+ on its first pass, the OFLC are showing signs of wussing out. In summary, I hope Cronenberg has now gotten the crime thing out of his system. |
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| Turistas
Halloween Dreadful Double-Header #2. A quick cash-in on Hostel that swaps torture for human organ trafficking. So quickly introduce good looking backpackers, abduct them, and start carving. Like Hostel Part 2, Turistas boasts one excellent gore sequence in which a young naked woman is drugged and has her abdomen cut open and her internal organs fondled as her male friend watches from a nearby operating table. This scene was trimmed for the film's US theatrical release, but went straight to DVD in Australia in its uncensored variant rated R 18+. Despite such surgical highlights and laudable production values, the movie ultimately succeeds in being dull, dull, dull. Not sleazy enough, violent enough, or twisted enough. Seeing Evil Aliens immediately beforehand probably didn't help matters! |
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| Evil Aliens
Halloween Dreadful Double-Header #1. It is shit, albeit entertaining shit. Shot on video in England, Evil Aliens would make a great Brit-horror double-bill with the equally gonzo Cradle of Fear. Truth be told, Evil Aliens probably trumps that movie for sheer berserk no-budget madness. The story concerns rural alien visitations that are investigated by a TV crew out to make a story for broadcast. The aliens soon arrive and cause mayhem. I saw this on Halloween, along with four cans of Jim Beam Black and Cola – a potent combination. Elements worth mentioning: the worst alien make-up since Peter Jackson's Bad Taste (hockey mask, plastic tubes, black tracksuit pants); young women being abducted and strapped down nude for insemination of alien foetuses; numerous gore highlights that include amputations, decapitations and a spine removal; a UFO nerd having sex with a queen alien ("Please be gentle, it's my first time"); very dodgy CGI 'special' effects; simulated intercourse between humans; and some of the funniest one-liners I've heard in a genre film for a long time, for example: "That place's just Day of the Dead without the helicopter!" Classified R 18+ by the Office of Film and Literature classification, one wonders what they all thought of this lunacy? A total crack-up, but by crikey, keep your expectations low. From director Jake West, who brought us Razor Blade Smile (1998), Wacked (2002), and Pumpkinhead: Ashes to Ashes (2006), a gig he may have scored on the (umm) strength of Evil Aliens. It would be easy to trash nine colours of shit out of this horror comedy, but I'm the lameo with the 9-to-5 office job, not Mr West. |
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| 9/11 Mysteries: Demolitions +
Expanded slightly with new footage and eye witness testimonies, this first part of a series of 9/11 documentaries is one of the best feature length contributions to debunking the official story. It pays particular attention to the unexplained collapse of Building 7, and how signs of controlled demolition are obvious in the video footage of all three WTC tower collapses. The addition of 'live' UK news commentators discussing the collapse of Building 7 while the structure was still standing in the background is one of the most bizarre discoveries made recently by the 9/11 truth movement. Now bring on Loose Change: The Final Edition. |
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| The Curse of the Jade Scorpion +
Woody Allen Manhattan triptych #3. |
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| Manhattan +
Woody Allen Manhattan triptych #2. |
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| Annie Hall +
Woody Allen Manhattan triptych #1. |
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| Resident Evil: Extinction
Against my better judgment, I rocked up to a late Wednesday night session of this sequel to the fucking wretched Resident Evil: Apocalypse. The one draw card was none other than Aussie maverick Russell Mulchay in the director's chair, and the results are passable. Nothing special, mind you, just a fast-paced zombie thriller. Mulchay's keen genre sensibilities and visual inventiveness see him turning this script by Paul W.S. Anderson into a dynamic action picture. On the down side are painfully obvious 'tributes' to other horror movies, Day of the Dead, Saw, Mad Max II and The Birds to name four titles butt raped by Paul Anderson's word processor. It also looked censored – I see an uncut DVD being authored as I type this. All up, if you want zombies in desert settings and ex-model Milla Jovovich wielding psionic powers, you can't go wrong with Resident Evil III. The five punters in my screening seemed to enjoy it. |
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| The Insider +
Repeat viewing. |
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| Dances with Wolves: Extended Edition +
Repeat viewing...A good Saturday morning recovery film. Burp. |
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| Rosemary's Killer / The Prowler +
I saw the US DVD from Blue Underground under its alternative title The Prowler. In Australia and Europe it was released on VHS rental as Rosemary's Killer, and it's now out locally on DVD under that title. It is also uncut at last, with MPAA trims to Tom Savini's gore put back into the film where they belong. (Ah, the things you learn here on Toxic Waste – it's pure gold!) Well, at any rate, for the uninitiated, this is one the more tedious slasher flicks from the early 1980s, violent deaths of various college campus students not withstanding. Among the vapid characters populating the story, only one stands out: an obese desk clerk who pretends to take a phone errand. This guy deserves his own talk show! Otherwise there's absolutely no suspense, intrigue, care factor, or sardonic humour to enjoy between each expertly staged revenge killing, which are definitely worth seeing. At best, Rosemary's Killer disturbs you because of its detached, casual treatment of the bloodshed carried out by pitchfork and bayonet. Director Joseph Zito went on to make Invasion USA among other titles in a spotty B-grade career. |
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| Species +
Fox have released several so-called "Definitive Editions" of its back catalogue titles. Screen captures show that this release of Species boasts a better transfer than the original disc, but on the whole, these repackaged 'definitive' editions are byte for byte exactly the same as previous releases, so buyer beware. The fillum under discussion fails to improve on the original 'blah' impression it made on me upon seeing it theatrically. For this pass, Your Humble Narrator tried hard to extract some measure of schlock enjoyment from the bland dialogue, restrained violence, somnambulistic performances, wasted Giger design work, and the extended cocktease of the nearly-buff model Henstridge, but sadly the terminally beige Kiwi director Roger Donaldson made such a feat impossible. And I have low standards. Watch Species III instead. |
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| Razorback +
Stone the crows! Here's a blast from the past. Largely a failure due to budget constraints and lack of time, Razorback was ace video clip director Russell Mulchay's first feature film. What it has going for is the phantasmagorical cinematography courtesy of Dean Semler and some berserk performances. It's never been a favourite of mine, which is probably why I waited until the DVD was ten bucks before I bought it. Note that this is the censored version, lacking several moments of violence removed at the behest of Warner Brothers. Without them, the film comes across as a lame telemovie that teases without delivering the necessary payoffs. The missing shots are included as extras. Also on the DVD is a commentary track and an excellent 70 minute making-of documentary. If only the bugger it was uncut – what a missed opportunity. |
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| Almost Famous: Untitled Edition +
Cameron Crowe retrospective title #4. Oh dear. This film isn't ageing well at all. The horrible miscasting of Patrick Fugit as the narrator William Miller undermines the many good aspects of Almost Famous. Another problem is Kate Hudson. She gives a sickly sweet performance here that grates on me more and more each time I watch the movie, maybe because she had to play opposite Fugit, who has no charisma or screen presence. He's actually outdone by the actor playing his younger self, Michael Angarano. I suppose we have to be thankful that the superior extended director's cut is available on home video. Someone should make a version of Almost Famous featuring a band like Slayer or Cannibal Corpse. |
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| Troy: Director's Cut +
Sporting an extra 30 minutes, including additional bloodshed trimmed to obtain a lower US rating, Wolfgang Petersen's preferred cut of Troy is now going cheap in DVD emporiums. Upon second viewing, this entry in the recent sword-n-mullet cycle holds up pretty well, mainly thanks to Petersen's keen eye and earnest performances from the principals despite some monumentally awful dialogue. The restored violence and nudity also helped to give Troy a more European flavour – we here at Toxic Waste approve. Then again, it was still clear that Wolfy was holding back, because those edits are quick quick quick. Rousing entertainment. |
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| Jerry Maguire +
Cameron Crowe retrospective title #3. Notable for being Tom Cruise's last good film, and a huge step up on many levels from the comparatively adolescent Singles, maybe because Cameron Crowe spent three years researching and writing the script, as did Kevin Andrew Walker and Seven. I may have said before that the book of Crowe's script is well worth reading. Anyway, I digress. The film holds up better than it should given that it was among one of the first DVDs I ever bought back in the day. I now watch the special edition release because of the slightly improved video quality, and because I gave my brother my other copy. Unfortunately the extras – which include a stupid audio-video commentary – suck hard. |
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| Singles +
Cameron Crowe retrospective title #2. Only the relationship between the two yuppies is interesting, the rest is cringe-worthy melodrama on par with the worst parts of Love Actually. One suspects that the movie should be 30 minutes longer. You could be cruel and say Crowe had to trim the bad bits out. So...the upshot is that I may never watch Singles again. |
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| Say Anything +
Cameron Crowe retrospective title #1. It's safe to say that John Cusack makes this early Cameron Crowe film highly watchable. The story is also better conceived than the Singles (1993) and it's given time to develop properly. I still haven't seen the movie Crowe made before Say Anything. |
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| Of Unknown Origin
One of the better monster rat movies made, Of Unknown Origin hails from the early 1980s and stars a young Peter Weller. He suffers at the hands (or claws) of an oversized and aggressive rat that proceeds to rips up his meticulously renovated New York Brownstone. Killer rats never really gave me the creeps, at least on celluloid or in print. However, the rogue rodent at the centre of this urban nightmare is portrayed by talented B-grade director George P. Cosmatos (Cobra among others) to expoit its nasty characteristics for maximum suspense value. The best scene in the film has a haunted Weller telling posh dinner party guests disturbing zoological details of rats. Needless to say, his furry opponent lives up to its species' survival instincts, and then some. Starting as a slow burn, Of Unknown Origin benefits from its origin as a novel, Cosmatos' careful direction, and the crazyed performance from Peter Weller as the yuppie who goes to hell and back. There's also subtexts and alternative readings for viewers so inclined. |
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| Animal House
First viewing. Yeah, I found this to be interesting for historical reasons, but ultimately rather dull and self-conscious. Then again, my idea of good teensploitation is American Pie, so take any criticism with caution. Maybe a few passes will weave some cult film magic. The murky DVD transfer is disappointing for this so-called special edition. The retrospective documentary is quite good. Yes I did get drunk on red wine while watching this; it didn't help me like it more. |
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| The Burning +
They keep coming. Yep, here's another film I've been waiting a long stretch to see uncut, this time close to 20 years. That's OK, though. When it comes to seeing uncensored movies, I'm as patient as the fucking Sphinx! A nominal slasher movie modeled on the Friday the 13th blueprint, The Burning gained cult status over the last 10 years because of its patchy home video history. The Aussie VHS rental suffered minor but significant cuts to Tom Savini's gore effects. MGM in the US and Vipco in the UK released uncut tapes and a DVD of The Burning, but of course horror aficionados wanted it on DVD treated with the proper respect damn it, and this year MGM Stateside finally made good on their promise. As for the movie itself, it neither disappointed nor surprised this seasoned viewer – it's standard slasher territory, so much so that you wonder how MGM got it released without being litigated by Warner Brothers, who released Friday the 13th the same (?) year. Apart from Tom Savini's work, the movie does have more charm than F13 thanks to a likable cast which includes Seinfeld's Jason Alexander (with hair) and Holly Hunter, not to mention other teensploitation regulars who fall victim to crazed killer Cropsy and his lethal garden shears. The DVD features a crisp anamorphic transfer, an audio commentary by the director and journalist Allan Jones, and an 18 minute chat with make-up legend Tom Savini. While it's not art, sitting back to watch The Burning uncut at last was definitely a Sinema highlight of 2007. |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 1981 DVD uncensored |
| Sideways +
I finally own the DVD – bought an ex-rental in Brisbane for $5.00 during my last trip up. The commentary track with Thomas Hayden Church and Paul Giamatti is hilarious and worth getting the DVD for, or at least hiring it if you enjoyed watching Sideways in the cinema like I did. Oh, and the movie holds up well to repeated viewings, in case you were wondering. |
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| Naked Weapon
It starts off well but falters half way through and becomes a maudlin mess by the time it limps to a disappointing finish. The nudity and violence needed to be dialed up a few notches, plain and simple. I had pondered the possibility that harder footage was excised due to restrictions on Hong Kong Category III material. Then I looked at the film some more – and what a glossy confection it is – and realised it's not the work of a true exploitation filmmaker, despite the inclusion of a short rape scene that must have pushed it into the Aussie R 18+ bracket. Watch Naked Killer or Battle Royale instead. Or better still, all three! |
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| Godzilla 2000
Review pending. |
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| 9/11: Press for Truth +
Screening for friends. |
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| Perfect Stranger
Review pending. |
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| Lovely & Amazing
SBS's movie of the week was a quirky US drama about the lives of three women, a mother and her two daughters, plus a few peripheral characters. Widowed mom (Brenda Blethyn, also in a show on ABC) goes into hospital to have liposuction and has a crush on her doctor (Michael Nouri) but unfortunately picks up an infection and largely misses the next two acts. Eldest daughter (the ubiquitous Catherine Keener) is an untalented arts and crafts type stuck in a passionless marriage who has an illegal fling with a teenager (Jake Gyllenhaal). Youngest daughter (Emily Mortimer) is an actor who's also stuck in a passionless relationship but like mom has body image problems which she solves by having a fling with a fellow actor (Dermot Mulroney) but becomes disfigured when a stray dog bites her lip. There's also the morose adopted black girl who wants straight hair and doesn't get along with a black minder so she does what she can to get attention and ends up walking down the road by herself to get McDonald's. It's all pretty subdued, yet watchable, Sunday night television. My favourite character was the bitchy metrosexual talent agent (Ileen Getz) who is totally self-absorbed and even tells the eldest daughter what a "fucking mess" her actor sister is during a snobby cocktail party. I laughed out loud at that bit and consider that moment alone worth catching the film for (yes I have low standards). Actually, much of the dialogue was confrontational, as per the current trend. Was Lovely & Amazing a failed TV pilot? |
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| Con Air: Extended Edition
Suspecting it was censored I avoided the shorter theatrical release, so this extended version (by seven minutes) was my first ever viewing of Con Air, and an enjoyable romp it was, too. By all reports the extended version is actually the pre-MPAA uncensored assembly running to 116:41 PAL. It contains slightly more violence and rougher language, among other ephemera, making it more like a 1980s action flick in tone and a definite DVD collector's item. Nicholas Cage's flowing Michael Bolton wig may have been extended as well, but I can't be sure without doing a frame by frame analysis. So, yeah, in summary I liked it: expect over the top set pieces and rather brutal characters, apart from Steve Buscemi, who is wasted as an underplayed serial killer, and John Cusack, who seems more than a little embarrased by the big budget shenanigans. Because after watching Con Air, you might have to drain the excess testosterone from your TV... |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 1997 DVD uncensored |
| Dead Man's Shoes
Based on the graphic novel of the same name and scoring a very decent 8.1/10 on IMDB, Dead Man's Shoes is one of those taught, scary little pictures the Brits do so well. This one takes about five minutes to warm up, but when it does, the tension never relents. The acting is excellent across the board, with a special mention for Paddy Considine in the lead role – we last saw him as one of the Detective Andys in Hot Fuzz and journalist Simon Ross in The Bourne Ultimatim. Dead Man's Shoes has him playing a completely different character – there's nothing remotely funny about Richard and his deadly single-minded resolve. Note that Considine also co-adapted the screenplay with director Shane Meadows. Also effective are the local thugs he takes on; I'll never tire of seeing tough gangsters being terrified of someone more badass than they are. In terms of violence, the bloodshed is sporadic and restrained, in keeping with the modest production values and small scope of the story. For some reason the OFLC awarded it an R 18+ classification, trifle unfair given that the likes of Pan's Labyrinth only received an MA 15+. The Hopscotch DVD via Roadshow contains a sharp anamorphic transfer and lively audio commentary. |
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| Elizabeth
Quite a gritty and engaging costume drama about the ascendancy of Elizabeth I to the throne of England in the 16th Century. Cate Blanchett in the title role was up to her usual professional standard. There's a sequel due for release locally on 17 November 2007 called Elizabeth: The Golden Age – they could hardly call it Elizabeth II, huh. I am definitely there, especially if it has some bloody battle scenes or features more goings-on in The Tower. The original director and writer return, as does Blanchett. |
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| The English Patient +
Repeat viewing. |
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| 7 Days in September
A documentary featuring amateur video footage shot during and after the September 11 attacks. There's a lot of interesting and eerie material here I've never seen before: it has the effect of taking you back onto the streets of New York that day. The transfer is not anamorphic, despite what the package specifications say. |
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| The Bourne Ultimatim
Critics who praised this film with 8/10 and 9/10 ratings should be pistol-whipped and forced to watch the original Doug Liman entry again. Ultimatim repeats the plot of part one, with Jason Bourne struggling to recall yet another memory gap – this time the events that started his career as a CIA black-ops "asset". And so you have Bourne both chasing leads to unmasking his real identity, and being chased by corrupt CIA figureheads trying to cover their tracks who send highly trained automatons out to silence him. Three standout sequences don't go far enough to make this essential viewing. On top of that, director Greengrass goes even more berserk with his shakey camera technique; during one fight scene I counted five edits in one second of screen time (i.e. 24 frames). Overall, Ultimatim is a step down from the passable but still enjoyable Bourne Supremacy, and not even in the same class as The Bourne identity. |
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| Eyes Wide Shut +
Moved and inspired by reading the final appended chapter of Paul Allen Nelson's brilliant thesis on filmmaker Stanley Kubrick called Inside a Film Artist's Maze, I booked a time this week to watch Kubrick's final movie. It was my third viewing after seeing it once in the cinema and once on Warner's initial uncensored Aussie DVD. The first time I was iffy about it being good. The second time it was beguiling, but not entirely satisfying. However, tonight, fueled by memories of Paul Allen Nelson's astute observations and my own movie fan sensibilities – not to mention downing four cans of Wild Turkey bourbon & cola (getting in touch with my inner bogan, ya see) – I have come to the conclusion that Eyes Wide Shut is a masterpiece, even if Stanley Kubrick died before the final cut had been officially signed off. Any why? With Kubrick, it's all about the subtext, and the subtext here is aboil. The colour coding is more important than in any other Kubrick film: blue = death and menace, yellow = irrationality and insanity and impulse, red = passion and lust (as per tradition), and on it goes. But it's not quite that basic, because in some scenes and even in the same shot, several colours can be linked to different characters, different rooms, and different situations. Now, that's just the tip of the fucken iceberg regarding chromatic coding. There are many more aspects to discover, way beyond what Paul Allen Nelson revealed in his essay, even in the first reel. Another bonus this time around was spotting various continuity errors and even a camera that's hiding in the bathroom mirror Alice opens and closes (use freeze frame to see it). I subtract half a rating because Tom Cruise – in his disingenuous performance – was unable to form a whole, believable character over the two years of filming, unlike Nicole Kidman (a proven character actor), who accomplishes more with far less screen time. Watch her riveting 17-minute interview, included as a supplement, to see why. Finally, I'm just elated because until now, I've reserved my judgment about Eyes Wide Shut being a film worthy of Stanley Kubrick's mantle. Let me assure you, speaking as a bum and binge drinker and cult movie fiend and corporate zombie and art lover, that Eyes Wide Shut is a masterpiece...though of a peculiar brand and quality that's fallen out of vogue in these times of Michael Bay blockbusters and low-brow comedies. Eyes Wide Shut was also a lot funnier this time around. Then again, I watch 2001: A Space Odyssey as a comedy nowadays. And there is no higher compliment than saying a given 'art film' can also be enjoyed as a chucklefest, because beyond all of the forced artifice and 70 takes and technical virtuosity, an audience member can still identify with the humanity of a Kubrick movie enough to find it funny. Well, it is 1:39am, and I should go to bed (and dream), so let's leave things here, until next time... |
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| Pulp Fiction +
Review pending. |
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| Kill Bill: Volume 1 +
Review pending. |
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| The Reincarnation of Isabela
Review pending. |
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| Thriller: A Cruel Picture
Review pending. |
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| Die Hard 4.0
All right. This third sequel ended up being better than expected. In order of preference, I rank the DH films as follows: 1, 2, 4, 3. Bruce Wills reprises his John McClane character with nary a lost beat, carrying the film with help from a computer hacker sidekick. The plot trades on post-9/11 paranoia, post-Katrina vulnerability, and general distrust of the Internet and government agencies. All up, a pretty topical stew to wallow in. Of course, it goes over the top more than once, but the big action scenes are handled with relative restraint and economy, unlike several failed blockbusters that come to mind. The usual action flick clichés are dutifully rolled out – the unlikely odd couple pairing, the loved-one held as a hostage for third act motivation, helicopters and cars that are impossible for machine guns to hit, the constant bodily abuse that would maim or kill any normal person, heroes who are always one step ahead of the authorities, the bad guy getting amazing support from accomplices who look shocked when he double-crosses them, the F35 jet fighter pilot who can't destroy a slow moving semi-trailer, baddies who never immediately kill the meddling heroes, and so on. Directed by Len Wiseman (Underworld), Die Hard 4.0 sports a the desaturated look that is in vogue right now. It would have been nice to have a warm palette for once. The word "motherfucker" does sound like the censored variant. I'll do some checking. The violence is much tamer than previous installments, with very little blood splashed around, or on-screen deaths shown, for that matter. In summary, Code Monkey and I enjoyed Die Hard 4.0. It's probably the best of our purposely low-brow cinema selections from the last 12 months. If you watch it on the biggest cinema screen you can find, there'll be no need to ever see it again in your life. |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 2007 cinema censored? |
| 9/11: Press for Truth +
Screening for the flatmate. 9/11: Press for Truth is due to be shown on the Australian pay-TV History Channel on the 11th September this year, and perhaps on SBS near the end of the year. Don't miss it. I'm curious to see if SBS shows the whole documentary. However, keep in mind that Press for Truth only covers the LIHOP theory – let it happen on purpose. Several other documentaries, Loose Change: Final Edition for example and some others, should be seen to understand the MIHOP theory – made it happen on purpose, which puts it into the category of what is known as a "false-flag" operation. MIHOP is the only approach that joins all of the dots and makes logical sense of what happened before, during, and after 9/11. Note that since MIHOP incorporates LIHOP, the content of 9/11: Press for Truth is perfectly valid and eye-opening on its own terms. |
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| Dead and Breakfast
No, not bed and breakfast, but dead and breakfast. Geddit? Hahahahaha. Okay. This was the latest entry in SBS's Thursday night cult movie zombiethon. I didn't catch Severed thanks to being too tired. Or so I thought. Later I found myself tossing and turning in bed for hours when I couldn't keep my eyes open during the first 10 minutes of Severed. Dead and Breakfast is one of those jokey horror films that feature bad acting, an awful script, and lame attempts at 'comedy'. The plentiful moments of gore made it watchable. I'm not sure whether this was the uncut version or not. |
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| Fire Walk With Me +
Hmmmmm. Still waiting for the four hour version. Chug-a-lug, David. Well, here it is, the culmination of the Twin Peaks marathon, except that I didn't make the group sreening for the first time in the months it's been running. Oh the irony. Nope, I was marooned at work, so I texted my apologies and eventually lurched across the threshold at 7:45pm. Prepared dinner, poured a half-nip glass of Beam Black and Coke Zero, and watched my own copy of the US New Line DVD alone at Toxic Towers. Which means, in a Black Lodge kind of way, I was visiting Twin Peaks time-lagged by about 90 minutes behind the group screening. Seeing it tonight, I was again struck by how different the film is compared to the series, and yet how similar it is to Lynch's other feature films. Emerging fresh from the TV series, some aspects were clearer on this pass compared to previous runs, and it was less scary than I remember (yes, I had all the lights out). What does it all mean? David Lynch purposely never gives you enough clues to work out everything. I know that drives many film geeks bonkers...I've lost count of the number of times I have tried to explain the working method of David Lynch and other avant garde filmmakers to people in conversation and on the Internet. The "wonderful" ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey is a particularly sore point that people bring up, heh heh. Once you realise what's happening, it make perfect sense. For Lynch, the enigma and puzzlement and confusion is the whole point. Mystery surrounds us all the time. For example, thousands of people go missing every year, each night we dream weird little episodes that make no sense, strange coincidences occur, quantum physics says that reality itself is uncertainty, and so on. If anything, David Lynch expresses a metaphysical world view and aethestic that is more accurate than many may first think. What Lynch always reveals, however, is the emotional content of any given scene. This contrasts with filmmakers like Stanley Kubrick, who uses film to explore concepts and ideas rather than the landscape of the psyche. Still, watch a couple of Michaelangelo Antonioni and Ingmar Bergman movies to see many aspects of Lynch and Kubrick in the work of both artists. One last thought about Lynch came to me during Fire Walk With Me: does he deliberately pace his movies slowly to make it harder for the audience to connect the dots? |
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| Black Sheep
Yikes, how disappointing. This is the horror flick made in New Zealand that involves killer sheep attacking humans, who in turn become weresheep. Courtesy of WETA Workshop, the gore and special effects quotient is okay, I guess. One problem is that the filmmakers were obviously channeling Peter Jackson, who did this all before 15-20 years ago with much more vigor, style, wit, and guts. Black Sheep is just good enough to be a stepping stone for the writer-director (forget him name) to move on to bigger projects. Be warned that this outing lacks both tension and effective humour, plus the novelty of rabid sheep trotting after victims wears off pretty fast. There are several sloppy sequences as well, including people doing dumb, inexplicable things. For example, if a carnivorous sheep is attacking you in your ute, might it be a good idea to apply the brakes instead of driving out of control across a paddock? It feels as though I'm being too harsh – I'll read the reviews now to see what everyone else thought. Black Sheep was partly financed by the NZ Film Commission. Despite my reservations, I hope it does well. |
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| Pimp My Ride: Season II +
Yes, I bought it on DVD secondhand and spun all 16 episodes again on the weekend. The search for the first season going cheap or discounted now begins, and a third season was made last year. |
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| 28 Weeks Later +
It's still good fun the second time through, just not as electric as the first pass in the cinema. |
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| Fantastic 4: Extended Edition +
Last night I saw how restored footage improved Black Hawk Down, and now the same steroid jab's been given to Fantastic 4. The extra 20 minutes – yeah, a whole reel, or 20% more content – puts flesh back on the bones of this Marvel comics adaptation. And I actually enjoyed the bugger this time around. Characterisation, people! It makes the popcorn taste better. Now...this extended DVD is not labelled as such. You have to look at the back cover. The running time says 126 minutes (actually 121 minutes PAL) rather than 101 mintues for the no-foreplay theatrical version. Apart from a DTS soundtrack that sounds identical to the Dolby Digital mix, there's a seven minute fluff piece about the original Silver Surfer character. Q: Doesn't Jessica Alba look cute in glasses? It was also interesting to spot Welsh actor Ioan Grudduff (Mr Stretch) in Black Hawk Down last evening. That was unexpected. |
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| Black Hawk Down: Extended Edition +
With this extended version (read: the original director's fine cut before it was modified for studio execs with weak bladders and test audiences with ADD) I was hoping for a mild improvement and got a pleasant surprise. The extra seven plus minutes really do flesh out the story in positive ways. First we are introduced to the soldiers properly, in particular rookie Blackburn and in turn, the edgy Eversman. Second, several fun scenes and grace notes have been restored to the battle sequences, making them more intense and violent. Third, the aftermath scenes in the stadium are slightly lengthened to balance out the film in a satisfying way. There's even some extra gore in the bit where the general wipes the blood off the floor: now we see blood spurting from an injured soldier being operated on (I compared it with the theatrical version). I tell ya, Ridley Scott doesn't know how to film a bad shot: all of the restored footage is top quality celluloid, which comes back to my remark in the first sentence. To round off this superb DVD, the transfer looks a tad more detailed than the first single-disc release, and a 55-minute episode of the US show Frontline covers the real life events in Somalia. I'm sorely tempted to bump the rating up to 9/10 (just did it). Fucken fantastic, and going cheap. After seeing this, I now really want the Gladiator extended edition, and let's not forget Blade Runner: Final Cut in December!!! |
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| Alexander Revisited: The Final Cut
Snigger. By anyone's standards, this Oliver Stone flick is bad. However, at least it's memorably bad. Thoughts about why it blows sausage so much keep returning to the script. The dialogue is so bloated and pompous that the poor actors – and a capable bunch they are – clearly couldn't (a) relate to the material and therefore (b) create anything resembling realistic characters. Every leaden, ponderous line sounds like it was lifted from a book of quotations. This starts with the very first scene featuring Sir Tony Hopkins narrating the non-linear life story of Alexander to busy scribes. Two minutes into the movie, you could tell it was a dog, and yes I mean the whole movie. You just fucken knew in that uncanny way, the sixth sense that true film fans develop over a lifetime of watching bottom-feeding cinematic dreck, supplemented with TAFE courses on Uwe Boll. Alexander isn't so much a film, as a heavy wooden cross that Oliver Stone drags up a mountain and nails himself to. Only Angelina Jolie got the joke and emerged with her, umm, credentials intact. That the likes of Ms Jolie shone should tell you enough about Colin Farrell and the rest of the long suffering cast. I patiently waited for this three point five hour version to see Alexander for the first time, and I'm glad I did. It supposedly contains additional gore and bloodshed compared to previous releases, including an elephant squashing a man's head and other novelties – all shown in 10-frame shots, mind you. Don't blink. |
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| The Case of the Scorpion's Tail +
An old giallo from the golden age of the sub-genre by Italian über-hack, Sergio Martino. The plot concerns some bollocks about a ditzy woman who inherits a pile of cash when her husband dies in a plane crash. She then exits due to a fatal case of death before the first act plays out. We then follow a good looking couple who become embroiled in the mystery. Much wooden acting, bad dubbing, tame nudity, and cheescore violence abounds. In other words, this is a must-see film. This American DVD boasts a gorgeous transfer from the original negs and soundtracks in Italian and dubbed English (actually the Italian dialogue is dubbed on too). Honestly, it's packages like this that makes me feel pity and scorn for people who are not horror fans!!!! (He wrote with the raised-fist hubris of an idiot savant.) |
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| Twin Peaks: Season II +
What a marathon...two episodes every Monday night. I was surprised by how entertaining many of these episodes were. Well, that, and the fact that I couldn't remember much of what happened, especially in season two. Therefore I was virtually seeing much of the story line for the first time. The whole thing ends with Fire: Walk With Me on Monday. Bravo to James and Nick for running the festival. |
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| Shaun of the Dead +
Got motivated to see it again by watching Hot Fuzz and catching regular broadcasts of Spaced on the telly. So, what are these mofos doing next, and when??? More to the point, can they shrug off Homage's Disease and write something original? Would we want them to? For the record, this was my fifth screening of Shaun. |
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| Hot Fuzz +
I started watching it a second time with the trivia track on. After about 10 minutes, that became tedious, so I switched it off and settled in to enjoy the film proper. And it does hold up well – no revelation there, I suppose. The chemistry between Simon Pegg and Nick Frost is just too addictive, even when one of the two plays a twat for half the movie. On the other hand, I'm not sure about Timothy Dalton and his constant sneering. Looks like he's suffering from constipation, heh heh. I sampled the commentry tracks and they all sound fantastic. Apart from being a valentine to the buddy cop sub-genre, Hot Fuzz also crosses over into slasher film terror-tory, which will help to extend its longevity with this punter. "Bring the noise!" |
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| Ocean's 13
If you thought Ocean's 12 was a stretch, Ocean's 13 will test your patience. Listen, the people in my (generally older) audience chuckled at all the right bits, so there is an unofficial fan base who eats up this stuff. With me, I just kept slumping down further in my chair the longer it went on. For starters, only some of the actors seemed to be having fun. They include new comers Al Pacino and Ellen Barkin, and maybe George Clooney, who has fewer lines here than the previous two installments. The rest of the cast phone in their performances, most notably Brad Pitt – if memory serves, he was the most reluctant member to reprise his role. The plot is also absurd: Ocean's gang help out Reuben after he gets ripped off by Willie Bank (Pacino) by causing opening night chaos for Bank's new casino. CGI shots of Bank's sequined tower do look incredible, I suppose, and a small running gag involving Oprah is amusing. Check out Eddie Izzard as a smooth heist consultant in a role that's sadly underwritten (like the rest of the film). |
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| Knocked Up
The 40 Year Old Virgin was a vehicle for Steve Carrell that was conceived by Carrell. As such, what it gained from his goofy approach to comedy was traded for realism whenever the film tried to be 'serious'. Knocked Up avoids this problem – it's less gimmicky and more drama-focused than the snappy trailer made it look. There's still plenty of low comedy to be found here, as well as some well timed non-sequiturs. The only reservation I had about the film was believing that Alison would actually fall for Ben; this is just presented as a given in the film. By the end, however, you forget you're watching a movie and become invested in how things will turn out, which tags Knocked Up as an unqualified success, all things considered. In particular, I really enjoyed the fact that the script wasn't overwritten, i.e. trying to be funny or say something profound with every line of dialogue. Writer/director Judd Apatow is currently not yet attached as a director to any future projects. |
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| Hot Fuzz
Speaking as a rank amateur film critic, I definitely had issues with Hot Fuzz, but the movie fan in me enjoyed it heartily. The main problem was a sluggish first act. Combine that with the fabulous Simon Pegg playing a stodgy wanker prat and a certain amount of tedium can't be avoided. The film picks up when Sargent Angel loosens up and bonds with Nick Frost. True, I probably deserved the angst for trying to take the film seriously in the first place. After all, these are the guys who made Spaced and Shaun of the Dead, which is still the better film overall. However, by the end I was thoroughly entertained, with shootouts at the supermarket meat counter and Nick Frost screaming as he empties a clip into the air. There's some really fine moments in Hot Fuzz, not least of which are a couple of splattery death scenes. I already want to watch it again. The extras on the DVD are a bit average – just go for the half hour making-of featurette, the commentaries, and the trivia subtitles. |
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| Cat of Nine Tails +
The last entry in my Movies With the Word "Cat" in the Title Festival That Was Totally Unplanned. For some reason I've never been able to watch Cat of Nine Tails without falling asleep (i.e. having a catnap) at some point. This screening was no exception, causing me to rewind the DVD to see bits again, but leaving the impression that I still didn't see everything. Maybe next time? This is a minor work in Argento's resumé that rewards attentive viewing, and the train murder scene is still a classic pause-and-rewind moment. Now, when the hell is Four Flies on Grey Velvet going to get an official release? I've been waiting to see it for 20 years! Pull your finger out, Paramount. |
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| Stephen King's Cat's Eye +
Continuing with the, ahh...feline theme, this is an anthology film linked by a very frisky cat which gives great performances in a variety of cat-unfriendly situations: chased by dogs, dodging past cars, being stuck out in the open around crowds of people. The first two stories are actually pretty decent and rather tense episodes that accomplish what Stevie King does best: make you laugh and feel dread at the same time. The last is one of those insufferably whimsical, "Heh heh juss messin' with ya now!" stories that writers like Stephen King use to alleviate guilt generated by writing their nastier material. The movie is also loaded with references to other Stephen King movies and books. Made in 1984, this Studio Canal drinks coaster scrubs up nicely with a gorgeous 2.35:1 anamorphic transfer, making the experience almost like watching it for the first time. However, this late in the game, only horror fan completists need apply. If it's ever on late night TV again, at least try to catch the first tales 'Quitter's Inc.' (with James Woods) and 'The Ledge' (with Robert Hayes). Or better yet, see Creepshow. |
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| The Black Cat
Lucio Fulci was on his downhill slide when he made this nominal chiller, based loosely on Poe's famous tale of the macabre. It still has entertainment value, even if the extreme gore is lacking. Highlights include: a man crashing his car and being thrown out the windscreen then BBQed on the hood; people standing still as they are repeatedly attacked by a cat that looks more frightened than they are; a women being burnt to death in her own house; the town drunk running down alleys in terror as the cute puss eventually chases him off a wooden beam and onto some lethal spikes; big close-ups of the cat as it (supposedly) schemes and makes its victims do crazy things; Patrick MaGee's eye brows; Mimsy Farmer as a doe-eyed photographer; David Warbeck as a Scotland Yard detective; prowling cat point of view shots, and so forth. The featured moggie, which is supposedly a ghost of some sort, is not even a full-sized cat – more like a teenager or maybe a black siamese. Well, you get an A for effort at least, Mr. Fulci. The Anchor Bay DVD is quite nice looking. I probably have seen this film before, come to think of it. |
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| Down to You
A coming of age first love yarn from Miramax, starring Freddy Prinze, Jr and Julia Stiles. It was passable fare I suppose given low enough expectations. The outcome is totally predictable but Prinze and Stiles do give affecting performances. Rosario Dawson, Selma Blair and Ashton Kutcher also appear in supporting roles. |
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| American Psycho +
Re-reading chunks from the novel lately prompted this Saturday afternoon matinee viewing. After scanning criticism about the book in the First Tuesday Book Club forums, I realised that the key to reading and enjoying and simply 'getting' American Psycho the book is to approach it like an epic poem. Those who complained about the experience of ploughing through the dross, and there is a lot of it, were oblivious to the fact that the medium (so to speak) is the message. That is the genius of the book. Surprisingly, the movie still holds up for me even after this many watches. It's definitely one of those "have to be in the mood" films. |
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| Lake Placid
An Aussie monster crocodile movie called Rogue is about to debut in cinemas. In preparation I decided to watch Lake Placid, one of those polished Hollywood creature features that contain high doses of humour and likable characters. While it's not up to the standard of the superb Tremors, Lake Placid has its moments and is easily digested. In particular, the special effects are very good, both practical and computer animated, and there is enough grue to maintain the interest of gorehounds who find the idea of Bill Pullman and Bridget Fonda flirting with each other nauseating. With a slim running time of 80 minutes, I'm not sure what was tossed out here. Somehow this punter doubts that Rogue will be as successful as Lake Placid. I'm guessing it's going to be scarier but with less convincing special effects. |
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| Pimp My Ride: Season II
Car makeovers has joined cooking and travel as topics for TV shows I find irresistible, even though I have no interest in doing much of either one in real life. Pimp My Ride is another gem from MTV America, who brought us Daria and...not a whole lot else besides grating song play lists and equally cringe-worthy hosts to match. Pimp My Ride features rapper Xzibit and the guys at West Coast Customs, who do extreme body work modifications for bombs owned by ordinary people living in Los Angeles. The format of the show has Xzibit meeting the car owner, having a look at said car, driving it to the workshop, seeing the guys work their magic (each one specialises in wheels, paint, accessories, electronics, upholstery), then revealing the new car to the astonished owner. Note: in previous sentence, apply massive emphasis to "new" and "astonished". The modifications – all done with no expense spared – have to be seen to be believed. Xzibit is frequently hilarious, the West Coast dudes are awesome, and the lucky people having their cars pimped really deserve their good fortune. All that in 20 minutes per episode. Nightowls (present) would have caught Pimp My Ride on late night Australian TV, but I will be getting this set on DVD, it's that fucking dope. I even told mum about the show and now she's dying to see it. I might even pick up an Xzibit album or two. |
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| The 40 Year Old Virgin +
I put this on again in anticipation of seeing the very well received Knocked Up in cinemas soon. The 40 Year Old Virgin remains fairly watchable in its low-brow way. However, I have utterly nothing else to say about the film. |
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| The Grudge II: Unrated +
This is the extended US DVD. It does not contain any uncensored material from what I can tell. In fact the extra footage is nearly impossible to spot – only one or two scenes come to mind, involving the family living next door to the cursed girl. The scares are still fun but diminished by familiarity. The scene in counselor's office still gets me good. |
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| Transformers
You get the impression that the word "cool" was uttered many times during the making of Michael Bay's port of the Transformers TV cartoon to the silver screen. After seeing the trailer a few times before other features and reading some reviews, I'd have to say my expectations were met. I saw it with Code Monkey (ex-work) and Ken (work) at Hoyts Melbourne Central. We grabbed some pints of beer at the Lion beforehand, during which Code Monkey revealed the Transformers T-shirt lurking beneath his office attire. That was a funny moment – in a good way or bad way, Ken and I aren't so sure yet. On to the movie itself, well, there is a lot of CGI animation that is too fast and busy for its own good. Often I couldn't figure out what was going on because the action was just too fast and choppy, thus defeating the purpose you'd think. Code Monkey explained his theory on this syndrome to me on the train coming home and it seemed plausible enough: audiences are not given enough time to analyse the action and perhaps see flaws, so they just assume it kinda makes sense. Whatever the deal is, you know by now it's a pet hate of mine. It is a pity, because in many sequences the animation and special effects really are convincing, even beautiful. The story and characters are more problematic. For starters, Transformers takes a long time to get going. Related to that point, we don't hear the Transformers themselves talk until the half way point or later. From then on the narrative flows better, since the machines take on actual personalities, albeit totally one dimensional, but at least we get some motivation and basic exposition. Then again, the interactions between the humans and the robots suddenly becomes awkward, plus you have ridiculous moments where massive hulking killer robots can't snatch a little box off a wussy teenager who is more than likely still a virgin, fer chrissakes. As with most of Michael Bay's movies, some of the supporting characters (human and non-human) are amusing. And once again for Bay, his military types are for the most part cardboard cutouts: either steroidal Neandertals, humourless top brass, or lovable rouges. Also, this is yet another action picture that depicts violent scenes but avoids any bloodshed or one-screen deaths – any nastiness is rapidly blurred from sight by something computer generated flying past. So there it is. Heavy on spectacle, light on logic, with a few chuckles, and some female eye candy to enjoy for the blokes. A bit more restraint (or less caffeine, speed, cocaine, steroids) on Michael Bay's part could have turned this into a great blockbuster. Oh well. Bring on Die Hard 4.0, which was apparently censored before release. Why bother at all if it's not going out with a US R, like the previous three DH movies? Don't get me started. |
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| Apocalypto
No wrist watches spotted on the Indians. Perhaps the jaguar was wearing a flea collar by mistake? I forgot to check for that. Yes, everything in Gibbo's Apocalypto appeared to be authentic. It would have been great to watch a movie like this back when I was doing school projects on ancient cultures, although I'm not sure the bloody violence would have been allowed in the days of seeing taped episodes of Behind the News in the library. Actually the gore was less intense than I was lead to believe – it's certainly not up to the phantasmagorical delights of The Passion of the Christ (also subtitled). What the movie does have is a marvelous sense of primitive adventure that brought to mind 1970s Italian cannibal epics like Jungle Holocaust, Cannibal Holocaust, and Cannibal Ferox. You'll see elements from all three films in Gibbo's movie, which is escapist entertainment in its purest form. It loses resonance in bargain, however. Combine that with clichéd plot devices and the niggling suspicion that it has been censored for mainstream consumption, and it's rewatch/purchase appeal plummets. But as an undemanding Sunday night rental it absolutely succeeds. |
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| Bill Bailey: Part Troll
Stand-up comedy comes second only to spoken word for revealing the real person behind the artist. Which is why you can borrow a performance like this one by Bill Bailey on DVD and not want to give the disc back, because it feels like Bill is leaving the house for good. I played Part Troll several times while I had it, with and without the picture – listening to 50 minutes of champagne comedy in the morning is a great way to start the working day. Most of you will know Mr. Bailey from Black Books, Spaced, and various guest spots on Australian tee vee. This show, recorded live at the Hammersmith theatre in England, combines comedy routines with hilarious musical renditions and piss-takes. As a bonus the video transfer is anamorphic and presented in 5.1 surround sound. A superb package. |
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| The Shaft
This remake of a Dutch horror movie about a possessed elevator stars Naomi Watts and none other than James Marshall from Twin Peaks, the brooding "goody two-shoes badboy", as James from Hooverdust called him tonight during our regular Monday night screening. Regarding The Shaft itself, it has very good production values that hide a fairly shitful script...just imagine one of the Scary Movie films played straight. Being a horror film (and I use the term loosely) the main highlights are the death scenes: a blind man falls into an elevator shaft and drags his seeing-eye dog down with him (10/10 for novelty value), a rollerblading skater dude is sucked into the haunted elevator then spewed off the top floor and falls to his death, and a maintenance man gets his head trapped between the elevator doors and is slowly decapitated (cue bloodless CGI effect). Thinking back on The Shaft, it has a naïve sort of charm that should waste 90 minutes no trouble. Marshall and Watts are so earnest in their roles that you can't help liking them. Or maybe it's just fun to see two actors struggling with their careers, one on the way up and the other going down. Just like...an elevator! (Yep, nothing but deep analysis here on Toxic Sinema.) |
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| The Dish
A superb little Australian historical drama from the Degeneration team. I'm not sure why it took me this long to watch it. One does wonder how much effort it took the writers to hold back on putting too much comedy throughout the story. |
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| Flying High +
I really enjoyed this screening at Marylu's house with about nine other people. Flying High is a minor tour de force of bizarre comedy from the Zucker brothers, who probably never topped this film despite some high spots in later movies such as Naked Gun (e.g. white chalk outline floating on water for someone who drowned). The old lady snorting cocaine after refusing the generous offer of booze almost caused me to wet my pants. |
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| Hercules Returns
The brain-child of Des Mangan, host of the SBS cult movie on Saturday nights and one time radio professional, Hercules Returns had me laughing until my cheeks hurt. This is fantastic nonsense if you relish bad Aussie accents or ever enjoyed an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, which was as hilarious as Hercules Returns when the voice actors were on form. |
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| Coma +
It's been a loooong time since I saw Coma, so it was with a small degree of anticipation that I slipped the now discounted MGM disc ($6.00) into the Pioneer and pressed Play. What ensued was classic 1970s cinema: character based, slow yet always mounting tension, attention to detail, solid acting, and so forth. Michael Douglas and Geneveive Bujold are excellent in the lead roles. Keep an eye out for Tom Selleck as a doomed patient and Ed Harris as a pathologist sporting an hilarious mop. While Coma won't blow you away, it's a worthy addition to your 70s film collection. It still turns up on late night television too, for which it is perfectly suited. |
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| 9/11 Press for Truth +
Repeat viewing. Seeing it again, I've reappraised this documentary and consider it to be solid and eminently watchable. |
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| 9/11 and American Empire: Intellectuals
Speak Out
This is one of the many recordings of 9/11 forum coverage doing the rounds. It was held at Berkley, California, in September 2006 – one presumes on or near the 5th anniversary date – and it is based on the book of the same name edited by David Ray Griffin and Peter Dale Scott. The guest speakers were authors David Ray Griffin and Peter Dale Scott, Ray McGovern, Kevin Ryan, Peter Dale Scott and Peter Phillips. It was interesting to see Phillips (he of Project Censored) joining the 9/11 truth movement, since he was fairly non-commital a year or two ago. The forum runs for over two hours and hits several points not usually mentioned in 9/11 analysis. |
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| The Bourne Supremacy
"You wanna go home? Find Jason Bourne!" – Joan Allen. I've been seeing a lot of Matt Damon lately. Here he reprises his role as the slippery CIA 'asset' who becomes embroiled in a plot to frame him for the murders of two important figures. CIA pitbull Joan Allen and her kennel of techno savvy agency dilettantes go after Bourne, who himself is dodging bullets fired by a manic depressive Karl Urban, but what is the secretive Brian Cox hiding? As a sequel, The Bourne Supremacy holds up bloody well, sticking to the formula and aesthetics of the first movie. Unless your name is James Cameron, Rule #1 of making sequels is: Don't Fuck with the Formula. I had problems with various plot points – coincidences happen a bit too neatly, and much of the narrative stems from the lost memories of yet another black-op that went cactus. Inevitably, too, there is another car chase sequence, which plays more like a demolition derby, especially with incredible shots of Matty D. and others reacting to real prangs in stunt vehicles. The choppy editing is once again overwrought (perhaps more so), rendering one close-quarter scuffle in an apartment impossible to follow. Stop doing this you morons!!! Not all of us out in audience land have ADD. All up, fans of The Bourne Identity will not be disappointed. The main entertainment value comes from the sheer joy of watching Bourne outsmart other smart people. I suppose we'll get The Bourne Ultimatum eventually to complete the trifecta. |
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| The Departed
Come on, burying the credit for the original Hong Kong film this screenplay was based on was a bit nasty. At least give it a decent sized font. While I suspect it's missing one reel (approximately 20 mins) of narrative to reduce its running time, The Departed is just about as good as modern Hollywood remakes get. It remains faithful to the spirit and major plot points of the excellent Asian version Infernal Affairs, and yet also reinvents enough of the backstory to make it seem totally fresh. The Departed looks nothing like a typical Scorcese picture, either – more like Michael Mann on speed, heh heh. So yeah, it was edited too close the bone, that can't be ignored I'm afraid. Even ten more minutes would have helped. A feeble criticism to be sure, but we play rough here Toxic Waste. Judge for yourself. To split hairs, the real rating is probably more like 8.648302/10. |
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| Shrek the Third
Yep, it is shit. Shrek III makes the tedious original film look like a masterpiece. Listen, I drank a mug of cappuccino (caffeine hit) and one apple slice (sugar hit) at The Coffee Club just before viewing the film, and I still felt like snoozing. For bachelors there's the additional agony of Shrek and Fiona having a family. Cue little baby ogres everywhere – gawd, they should issue vomit bags at screenings. Two adulty jokes worth mentioning: one by Puss in Boots commenting on Shrek's pending fatherhood ("Royally ******") and another by Donkey, who remarks on a benefit of living in Puss in Boots' body for a while ("I liked the cat baths"). |
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| Hostel II
On At the Movies, Eli Roth said he looked to Aliens and Mad Max II for inspiration to mount this sequel (groan) to his mild sicko entry Hostel. Well, apart from the opening dream sequence, which he |
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| Demonia
Here is some late Lucio Fulci (suffering poor health) and it's as bad as the genre literature led me to believe. There are four outstanding moments of gore, but you have to endure a lot of dull crap along the way. I had a book perched on my chest for most of the film. Still, for the Fulci or Italian gore completist, these grumblings are par for the course – the apparent masochism is an integral part of experience. The reward of seeing domestic cats claw a lady's eyeball from her socket, or a little kid watching his father being totally ripped in half from groin to shoulder, makes it all worth while. |
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| Night of the Bloody Apes
First The Bourne Identity and then The American President – obviously there's way too much quality celluloid in my diet. Somewhat revered by Heathen, whose taste I trust with my life, I saved this title for a Saturday night free from distractions in the cave, yet furnished with enough recreational booze and attentive stamina to last the 83 minute running time. Well, I watched it, and can only sum up the experience as unique. What can one say about the bouts of masked female wrestling? Or the terrible dubbed dialogue from beyond Space and Time? What really impressed me were the rampages of the apeman as he killed and raped his way through various escape scenarios. Some of those moments had me choking on my Bundy and Coke. I mean, there were tears rolling down my cheeks during the choice moments it was so hilarious. The gore (eye gouge, decap, heart surgery, etc.) and sleaze (mainly female nudity and pants-on rutting) was unexpected yet welcomed and warmly embraced. "It's a dead man! It's a dead man!" |
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| The American President +
Fuck it, I reckon this movie is tops, and we on the Toxic Waste review panel have consequently promoted it to the respectable tally of 9/10. I forget what I wrote last time, but I'm sure those erudite observations still apply. If anything, this Rob Reiner movie improves with each viewing – I should really quit the foreplay and commit to buying the disc, huh. Broadcast as a Sunday afternoon television matinee treat, this viewer is sure that the bit where Michael J. Fox says "fuck" went out unmolested. |
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| The Bourne Identity +
I still haven't seen The Bourne Supremacy, but the motivation is there now after watching this agreeable espionage thriller again. What strikes me about Doug Liman's remake is that the action scenes always project a sense of great physical harm. The choppy editing is unwelcome at times, as is the expected car chase down narrow European streets, with the obligatory against-traffic sequence. But that's all I can really trash without reading Robert Ludlum's novel. I wonder how the TV series adaptation plays in comparison? The so-called extended version includes one disposable scene tacked on before the high seas opening. The so-called European release includes a bonding moment between Jason and Eamon's kids at the farmhouse, which links in with Jason's lost memories. Some of this footage is on the local DVD as a supplement. In this case, I prefer the non-extended release DVD, which has been long out of circulation. After a long search, I finally picked up a secondhand copy from Dixon's. |
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| The Curse of the Jade Scorpion +
Stop Press 7/6/2007: JB Hi-Fi are currently selling this DVD for $7.00 plus change. I had a premonition that it would come down in price eventually. Mabye The Secret and the Law of Attraction actually does work?!?! An old favourite now, The Curse of the Jade Scorpion still makes me chuckle. For example, it's very funny to see Helen Hunt's character Betty Anne turn mushy as she hears of CW's increasingly wild exploits. There's no special edition release on DVD anywhere around the world yet. Woody Allen: "If I knew you were coming over, I would have gotten the maid to move the dirt around." |
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| The Ring II: Unrated
There is a moment in The Ring II in which Naomi Watts as Rachel collapses onto the floor and sobs uncontrollably. Is she crying about her character's predicament (son possessed by an evil revenant) or about how bad the movie is? Even though it may have been directed by the same fellow who made the original Ringu, Hideo Nakata, the screenplay was written by the same twit who gave us Scream III, Ehrem Kruger. I thought Gore Verbinski's first remake was actually okay, whereas The Ring II swaps the plot device of a haunted video tape that once seen will kill you unless someone else watches it – thus generating a goodly amount of fear and dread – for an unstructured mess of supernatural phenomena (burning trees, arbitrary sightings of Samara, shots from the video popping up randomly on TVs) and the tedious, repugnant 'relationship' between Rachel and her son. The best part is the prologue, and it's the only scene that features the video tape. In short, The Ring II lacks scare value and adds nothing to the mythology. Supporting roles are furnished by Aussie Simon Baker (a self-confessed horror fan), Elizabeth Perkins as a nurse, and Sissy Spacek as Sam | |