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2006 viewing
Diamonds Are Forever + Less whimsical than You Only Live Twice, this last Sean Connery outing (apart from Never Say Never Again) is kind of silly in many ways. You've got the two gay assassins, no strong female leads, a meandering plot that unspools like Thunderball, and a noticably more creaky Sean Connery. Of course, fans and completists will grab this title regardless. Having now rewatched all of the early Connery Bonds, I can't go past Dr. No as my favourite, even though Goldfinger and From Russia with Love are the best made entries.	1971 DVD
You Only Live Twice + Scripted by Roald Dahl in a rush to meet a set release date, it used to be a favourite of mine as a tadpole. Seeing it again, the incredible Ken Adam sets tend to swamp the story and characters, so watch this one for the eye candy. The standout location is the famous volcano set. Sean Connery quit after this entry, but returned for Diamonds Are Forever after Aussie model George Lazenby jumped ship. The producers threw piles of money and other enticements at Connery until he signed up.	1967 DVD
Casino Royale Hmmm, well. If this was the first James Bond novel written by Ian Flemming, is MGM planning to remake all of the Bond films? One hopes not. That said, new face Daniel Craig is an excellent James Bond. From what I've seen, the man is a character actor who's done solid work in British cinema over the last 10 years. As 007 Danny Craig passes the most important test: like Sean Connery, he is fun to watch. The James Bond persona is still very English, too. Casino Royale was directed by Martin Campbell, the fella who helmed Goldeneye, which introduced a more purile direction for the Bond movies (to grab younger audiences perhaps) that eventuated in the bloody awful Die Another Day. In contrast, Casino Royale keeps things very much in the real world. The last third of the story doesn't quite hang together, and an obvious continuity error concerning fast-healing scars didn't help, but it's classy entertainment just the same. Good stunt work. The cinema version is apparently missing sex footage cut to get its US rating.	2006 cinema censored
The World's Fastest Indian Anthony Hopkins is superb and a joy to watch here. The rest of the film is a road movie by lightweight Kiwi director Roger Donaldson (Dante's Peak and others), who first made this biopic in 1971. Just park your brain and soak up the nostalgia and feel goodness. It's a treat for Hopkins fans and anyone who appreciates character acting done well.	2005 DVD
Aeon Flux Better than expected, it still suffers from a cheap Logan's Run look and feel similar to those sci-fi TV shows from the 1980s. Taken on its own terms, Aeon Flux has enough novel elements to maintain your interest and could be worth a rental. Theron, slumming in science fiction here for the first time, plays it straight, and there's even some chemistry between her and her past love interest that keeps the narrative perked up.	2005 DVD
Ultra Violet Australia only has the censored version on DVD; the cuts are obvious. The uncut unrated version is available in the USA. No loss really, because this Milla Jovovich science fiction action picture fails on so many levels it's not funny. For instance, the terrible dialogue should win some kind of Razzy Award. The stylised look hooks into the current trend of using computer generated sets and compositing live actors into the scenes – an effect I like. It also lets filmmakers be more imaginative within a limited budget. None of that saves Ultra Violet.	2005 DVD censored
Saw II + Screening for friends.	DVD uncensored
Thunderball + I'm not that keen on Thunderball despite a few highlights. It's a bit stodgy, really. Perhaps there's just too much underwater action (a novelty in 1964 I'll assume) that both looks dull and plays like slow motion – yawn. Thunderball is a bit more violent than previous outings, but the clunky story telling reminds me of From Russia with Love. Has Terence Young been overrated? That thought comes to mind when you learn that Peter Hunt worked miracles in the editing room during post-production to make sense of the story.	1964 DVD
Loose Change: 2nd Edition Another 9/11 conspiracy documentary. This one presents an excellent overview of the main points of contention with a minimum of talking heads and a maximum of visualisations and actual news footage broadcast that day by network stations. I'd recommend Loose Change as a good starting point into this dark miasma of deceit and cover-ups.	2005 DVD
Goldfinger + Often cited as the best James Bond film – I agree. I saw the making of documentary for From Russia with Love today and noted that the shooting script wasn't fully thought out or scripted, which could explain why I didn't take to the movie. Watching Goldfinger soon after, the contrast was obvious. The narrative, character development and polish is superior in every way. Even the credit sequence is wittier and more tasteful. Plus it's clear who the villain is and what Bond must do: basic elements that are again rendered confusingly in Thunderball.	1963 DVD
The Dunwich Horror Tonight, I was tossing up whether to watch Visconti's The Leopard or this AIP piece of crap. Oh well, I think I'll need to be wide awake to survive Visconti's three hour epic anyway. Loosely based on one of H.P. Lovecraft's signature tales of tentacled cosmic terror or repressed sexual baggage (take your pick), the film starts with a strong first act, then dribbles along to an embarrassment of cheap photographic tricks and Dean Stockwell in a bath robe invoking the return of The Old Ones. Yog-Sothoth materialises for a few seconds before being thwarted by a counter incantation. Cut to Dean-o on fire falling down a cliff. However, by that stage I was fighting narcolepsy. MGM's Midnite Movies DVD cost me less than my lunch at Nando's, so I ain't complaining. Much.	1970 DVD
From Russia with Love This second James Bond film received higher overall praise than Dr. No, but I prefer the predecessor for its lack of knowing charm. It's less self consciousness than From Russia with Love, which pumps up the escapist elements to the levels we're used to now – just compare the opening credit sequences. The famous theme music is also overused here. That said, Sean Connery makes the material both more serious and more fun than it should to be. (Listen to me, analysing a James Bond flick. I really need to get a life.)	1963 DVD
The Blood Splattered Bride A Spanish horror flick based on Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu. Be warned that the middle section will put even the most hyperactive trash fiend to sleep, so chuck down a strong cup of coffee beforehand. The last reel pays off handsomely with a low budget orgy of bloodshed, 1972 style. Female nudity is scattered throughout, not to mention the obligatory dream sequences that spill over into reality. Don't be put off by my objective rating of 6/10...all of these titles deserve to be seen. It was great to catch this one at long last after reading about it in Eurocult books and magazines.	1972 DVD
Borat This is more successful than the Ali G. movies, which wasn't hard to do. As funny as Borat is, there is an underlying tedium present as well that never becomes too much of a problem thanks to the fast pace. I laughed aloud a couple of times – suffice to say that Borat is most entertaining when he's being crude or offensive. There's not much more to add, really.	2006 cinema
The Virgin Suicides Here's another film that took me ages to see. Sofia Coppola's dreamy character piece about teen suicide in the late 1970s looks great and yeilds several quirky performances. Of course, the film avoids formulating an exact theory about why five adolescent girls in one middle class American family offed themselves. But the talented Coppola drenches her story (based on a novel) in buckets of melancholy and scraps of droll comedy, two elements that showed up in Lost in Translation. It was nice of SBS to screen it on a Saturday night during my usual recovery time.	TV
Mute Witness Here's one of the best thrillers of the 1990s. Hasn't taken me long to see it, has it? The good thing about the dirt cheap local DVD is that it's in the original aspect ratio – who knows what the old VHS rental tape looks like (back then I wouldn't have known any different). Originally given an R 18+ rating, it would get MA 15+ easily. There was more humour in it than expected, too. All up, this is a bargain if you can grab it for under $10, or just hire it. Stephen King also liked it, if that helps.	DVD
Pan's Labyrinth I'll be writing a full review soon for Digital Retribution. The film opens mid-January in Australia – I attended a preview screening. The good news is that it's better than Blade II, the most recent Guillermo Del Toro movie I saw. Shot in Spanish and shown with subtitles, Pan's Labyrinth depicts a dark children's faery tale against a brutal backdrop of Spain circa 1944, just as revolutionaries were attacking Franco's regime. The superb CGI animation and sporadic but shocking gore effects really spin your head around. The kid's aspect was a drag until Del Toro indulged his sicko leanings. We need more genre-bending films like this.	2006 cinema
The Chronicles of Riddick: Director's Cut Warning: this movie contains gratuitous space fu. The uncut version is out in Australia on DVD, but it's difficult to find nowadays. I had to import a cheapo secondhand copy. Worth the wait? Hmmm, let me think about that. No. This is barely one step up from crap television science fiction, and a big step down from the original movie Pitch Black. Listen, it's ambitious and features some neat ideas, but this is just more B-grade trash with an A-grade budget. When will filmmakers realise that they suck at writing original SF, even of the camp variety? The fight scenes are all edited so that you can't see what's happening – a pet hate of mine. And for all that violence, even in this so-called uncut version, there's hardly any blood and no gore. Get fucked, wankers. Vin Diesel as Riddick is so laughably 'cool' that someone should name a cucumber after him. Arrghh. Forget this shite and watch David Lynch's Dune instead.	DVD
Windtalkers: Director's Cut The John Woo war movie set in the South Pacific. Actually, it wasn't as bad as I was led to believe. Perhaps this longer director's cut (i.e. the original movie as conceived and polished by the director, not the version prepared for attention deficit audiences) made the recycled elements work better. Make no mistake, this is left overs of Saving Private Ryan and Bullet in the Head taken out of the fridge and reheated on High for five minutes. Sadly the epic battle footage screams out to be seen at the cinema; on DVD things just get a bit too crowded and diminutive. The utterly predictable plot doesn't help, either. Worth a look – restored version only, please.	2004 DVD
G.G. Allin: Hated Kevin 'G.G.' Allin died in 1993 from a drug overdose. A card carrying misanthrope, Allin epitomised the live fast die young ethos. He got his aggressions out mainly through his punk band The Murder Junkies. Their live shows were infamous for Allin pooing on stage and beating up his audience. This DVD contains the one hour documentary on Allin called Hated, plus 62 minutes of his last ever live show, filmed the day before he died. The doco was rivetting. The live show contains about five minutes of music, 25 minutes of shitting and punch-ups, and 30 minutes of the cameraman jogging through the street. It gave me nausea. How appropriate. I'll be tracking down some CDs of Allin's, too.	1993 DVD
Saw II + I imported the director's cut from America. Very brief additional shots appear in most of the violent episodes. Like many surprise twist movies, Saw II doesn't hold up as well the second time through, which is why I've never picked up a copy of Saw, either. I only bought this release to catalogue the censorship trims. I'll confirm whether the Australian DVD of Saw II is cut; I expect that it is.	2005 DVD uncensored
The Descent + On this second viewing, the film neither worsens nor improves. Certain gory details were easier to see on a huge cinema screen than on DVD. It's worth catching – one dude to my left was literally biting his fingernails. Our print features the longer ending I saw on the British DVD.	cinema
Love Actually + Mum only owns two DVDs: this one, and the shitty release of Dances with Wolves, which I won't touch. I've made peace with the generally awful Love Actually, enjoying the parts that work and ignoring those that fall flat. Hugh Grant on the audio commentary is hilarious – the bloke just has a lightning wit, and is funnier in 'real life' than in his acting roles.	DVD
Cars The first misfire, or should I say backfire, from Pixar Studios. Yes, I had trouble with the 'scream energy' concept in Monsters Inc, but other aspects of the film carried it through. Anthropomorphised cars, on the other hand, just doesn't fucken work, despite Pixar's usual dilligent application of cuteness, cleverness, in-jokes, and sheer technical virtuosity. All you can do is admire the eye candy.	2006 DVD
Street Trash + A cult favourite among a certain generation of movie fans, namely those of us raised on a steady diet of Z-grade VHS rentals. My dad and brother worshiped this film, and when DVD came onto the scene, both charged me with finding them copies, which I dutifully did when the Synapse single disc edition was released early this year in the US. However, I waited for the two-disc special edition. It comes with a superb 120 minute retrospective made by producer Roy Frumkes of Document of the Dead fame, plus two commentary tracks and other morsels. The Aussie VHS tape was uncut, so this DVD is the same version. Street Trash was once banned in Queensland. The documentary even includes shots of said censorship notification from the state government Board of Review. Being banned in QLD was a sure sign of quality viewing. Street Trash is ample proof of that maxim.	1986 DVD
Zulu + An old war classic. I have fond memories from childhood of being terrified by TV viewings of Zulu. Today it's lost that edge for me. But seeing it in widescreen on DVD from MGM/Sony has restored the beautiful cinematography to its original glory after being mangled on television by pan-and-scan. The opening scene, for example, is a brilliant tracking shot of a battlefield littered with bodies and burning refuse. I imported the US disc secondhand after seeing these frame comparisons.	DVD
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning I give up, Follywood. Bring on the sequels, remakes, and prequels of remakes. The more the better, you turkeys! TCM: The Beginning dares to blasphme sacred ground by showing the origins of Leatherface, whose real name is apparently Tommy? Yeah whatever. Forgetting that BS for the moment, what does the film deliver? More grueling sadism in the same vein as the current rash of bleak, violent horror. This is a good thing. Also good is R. Lee Ermey, who carries the picture. Our print was CFDUSTD – an uncut US DVD has already been confirmed. Despite that, it was still rated R 18+, probably due to an off-screen rape scene and the general viciousness of the film. While I can't really recommend it, fans of the 2004 remake should enjoy it. Read my full review here.	2006 cinema censored
The Red Desert Wow, this is one of the best films I've seen all year. I had high hopes for Michaelangelo Antonioni's first colour film, and The Red Desert doesn't disappoint. A psychodrama told visually, it delves into the mind of a woman left emotionally disturbed by an unspecified accident. Her condition and her relationships with people are equated to colour schemes and industrial wastelands. I'm guessing that the title refers to the absence of passion (red) in her world. The Australian DVD features a sharp transfer made from a restored print, an audio commentary by a film lecturer from La Trobe University in Melbourne, and a 55 minute retrospective documentary on Antonioni. A superb package from Siren and a sure candidate for a top five DVD release of 2006.	1964 DVD
Dr. No + I've just watched the phenomenal new DVD of this film for the ultimate edition. Using the Lowry digital restoration process, which scans the original negative at 4K (!!) resolution, MGM have produced a gorgeous transfer that makes Dr. No look like it was made yesterday. What a treat! I would grab these if the spectre (boom-tish) of HD DVD wasn't hovering in the near future. Then again, at $15.00 a pop, it is tempting to scoop up these definitive SD releases while I wait for SED, LCOS or laser displays to materialise. Certainly the charming early Bonds starring Sean Connery are extremely wallet-tempting: good for a few spins with chilled bottles of Smirnoff Black Ice within reach.	1962 DVD
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest You'll discover when watching the movie that the subtitle is a double entendre. Yes, well, to my astonishment and yours, what was a fun, adventuresome confection is now a full-blown trilogy. This sequel recycles the same plot (brash, unlikely heros dodge stuffy naval officers, take on monstrous undead pirates sailing a mythical ship, and chase a down lost artefact) but it lacks the freshness of Curse of the Black Pearl, so there is a degree of tedium to overcome. Thankfully the sense of popcorn pulp fiction remains, making Dead Man's Chest a decent fantasy yarn all the same. The talented Gore Verbinski returns as director.	2006 DVD
Amarcord Never drink beer before watching a Fellini movie. I nodded off a bunch of times during Amarcord, rendering its dreamy narrative even more incomprehensible. Once again characters talked non-stop. At one point I turned off the subtitles and left the dialogue in Italian to soak up the cinematorgraphy, but then switched to dubbed English when my attention started to flag. The spotty Australian DVD video transfer could be better; no doubt the Criterion release is the best available.	1974 DVD
School of Rock Repeat viewing.	DVD
Terrorstorm This is a documentary by human megaphone Alex Jones about the 9/11 conspiracy. Here he covers a number of verified 'false flag' incidents (staged acts of terrorism blamed on your enemy) from 1933 in Germany onwards. Then he focuses on the 7/7 London bombings and the 9/11 tragedy, mentioning scary questions that remain unanswered. For instance, how or why did Building 7 collapse? The CBS footage clearly shows a controlled demolition. But if that were true, it would have taken one week to lay all of the charges. Building 7 collapsed at 5:20pm on the afternoon of September 11. The same doubts apply to the Twin Towers. Running for two hours, the documentary skims over topics that deserve (and have received) book-length treatment.	2006 DVD
The Hills Have Eyes "I'll strangle you with your own guts!" It was Melbourne Cup today and also a public holiday in this great caffeinated metropolis of mine. Hence I wanted to watch something equestrian, but the closest film in the collection was this early Wes Craven effort featuring two German Shepards. Of course, it was remade this year by the young Frenchy upstart with a bigger budget and saucy SFX by KNB. The original was never a favourite despite being a cult horror flick of sorts. (As Danny Peary pointed out in Cult Movies, every sci-fi and horror film ever made has its own cult following.) The best I can say about The Hills Have Eyes now is that no horror library is complete without it. This is the most complete version on home video. Other footage cut for the US censors will probably never surface.	1977 DVD censored
The Hills Have Eyes "Praise the Lord and pass the ammo." I came close to buying this DVD sight unseen. Thanks to Heathen for the loaner, because while it has its moments, this anticipated remake by Alexandre Aja (High Tension) trips over itself as often as it score points. The good includes a couple of brutal deaths early on, a pleasing gore quotient and the general level of violence, nice photography, a solid cast (Ted Levine and Kathleen Quinlan both slumming it) and the same familial parody elements found in the Wes Craven movie. The bad includes over-wrought mutie make-up, dumb behaviour (e.g. running away from an unarmed opponent and wasting a full clip by firing backwards without aiming), references to other movies (Blue Velvet, Straw Dogs, The Devil's Rejects), a lack of real tension and fear, too many shots of the desert, sudden villain incompetence (as Hank calls it) in the last act, and the whole idea of remaking such a flimsy story. Still, it's a fun way to spend 90 minutes. Note to horror fans: how about adding something to the genre you adore, rather than polluting it with your pointless homages.	2006 DVD uncensored
Saw III I've written up a full review. Well, the stupid fuckwit in the Herald Sun gave it one star. That's to be expected when someone is out of their depth. Saw III gets a solid four stars from Toxic Waste. This seemingly final installment really goes for the jugular (literally) after a slowish first act. The death scenes have more of an aspect of torture and sadism than the previous films, which was necessary to avoid viewer indifference. The only dodgy aspect is the bond between Jigsaw and Amanda, otherwise this is another grueling exercise in horror that had the packed audience squirming. The gore content is high (great brain surgery sequence) but it's obviously cut in many places. Even so, Saw III ranks as the most violent, brain damaged movie of 2006. Fantastic.	2006 cinema censored
The Grudge II What a delicious Halloween treat. A midnight session would have been choice, but I had to settle for a 9:00pm screaming. Takashi Shimizu continues from where he left off in the previous American remake that starred Buffy. This globe-trotting sequel sets up more victims of the 'rage' curse, as well as advancing some lame back story concerning Kayako's mother. The good news is that Shimizu doesn't fuck with the formula: there are scares galore and a grim, disturbing tone that shut the bogans in the audience up most of the time. Fun stuff. Chris Young (Hellraiser) scored the music again and Jennifer Beals was miscast. Interestingly, the bloodshed is kept to a minimum, in keeping with the Japanese productions. Anwyay, here is my full review, which I pumped out before Saw III opened on Thursday.	2006 cinema
Ju-on: The Grudge To prepare for tomorrow night's Halloween viewing of The Grudge II, I decided to watch the same director's original The Grudge (2003). And this critic has to say that the remake is slightly better. The story, acting and special effects are all stronger, plus there's more gore in the uncut version that's not yet available in Australia. This original, while terrifying throughout, is, by the director's own admission, not much more than a collection of set pieces. That being the case, this flick had me on edge the whole time. You really need to make the effort with these little movies: see them at night in pitch darkness, and suspend your disbelief for 90 minutes. I even turned off my PC to kill the fan noise and make the house dead quiet. Another point is that expectations about narrative logic and character development (there ain't much) need to be thrown out the window when watching these Japanese boo-fests. It's all about the scares. Lastly, the local Eastern Eye DVD has immaculate picture and sound quality. Now, will Takashi Shimizu make this movie a sixth time with The Grudge II two double-oh six? There's apparently another sequel due next year from Shimizu as well, but I'm more interested in seeing his Marebito (2004).	2003 DVD
Videodrome + Watched the Criterion DVD twice with each commentary track playing. The first had David Cronenberg and the directory of photography. The second had James Woods and Debbie Harry. Interesting facts recounted include the revelation that Cronenberg had to stand in for Woods when the actor refused to wear the video helmet, and the fact that James Woods is a member of Mensa. I also revisited the extras on disc two. A fine way to spend a Sunday afternoon.	1983 DVD uncensored
Yes An interesting drama written and directed by Sally Potter. The dialogue was written entirely in rhyming iambic pentameter. Set in England, the story depicts a familiar scenario: a female scientist trapped in a passionless marriage allows herself to be seduced one night at a formal dinner function. Of course, the second act sees the nascent relationship crumble, while the third act rewards her religious penitence with a happy closure. Spew city. There's a lot more to it, though. This is as much a rich visual experience as it is a verbal one.	2004 DVD
A Better Tomorrow II With a better story, this practice run for The Killer (1989) hits the right balance of drama, action, violence and humour. Thinking back on it, the ambitious plot is almost too busy, with threads occurring to multiple characters in Hong Kong and New York. Actually, it's structured more like a novel than a screenplay. But somehow Woo keeps control of the multiple viewpoints and ties them together for the explosive climax.	1987 DVD
A Better Tomorrow A seminal Hong Kong action film by John Woo. It's rough, lacking the fluid dynamism of his later masterpieces. Instead, it clunks along the same way his early B-movies did, while also being convoluted and hard to follow. The violence is harsh, offering set pieces that hint at future ballistic orgies of death and carnage. I caught it on the nice US Anchor Bay DVD.	1986 DVD
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre RRREEEEEEHHH!!!! Ahem, excuse me. Here it is, the grand-daddy of all modern horror movies. I only rank Alien higher because of the effect it had on me (breathless, unrelenting terror). But of course, we know now that Texas Chain Saw influenced Ridley Scott more than any other fright flick. I imported MPI's ultimate edition DVD, newly restored properly from the original negatives for the first time on home video by telecine wunderkid Don May, Jr. Disc two features Blue Underground's 2002 The Shocking Truth (70 mins) making of documentary as well as Flesh Wounds (71 mins), a new documentary made for this release. Also included are two commentary tracks plus other stuff. But as I've told other people, the best supplemental extra is a great movie, and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre is certainly one of those. Keep in mind, however, that it's still the result of very low budget filmmaking, thus it has a raw, unfinished quality to it, and treads that fine line between black comedy and bad taste. If any friends of mine want to see this classic horror film, just invite yourselves over. Then I'll turn the lights off, and the sound up, and let 'er rip... RRREEEEEEHHH!!!!	1974 DVD
BloodRayne There's some confusion about whether the local DVD is uncut. Word on the grape vine says the retail edition is uncut. If so it should run for about 95 minutes PAL. The cut version clocks in at 90 mins PAL. I imported the unrated US DVD (98:46 NTSC) just in case I had to compare it. On to the movie itself – based on a computer game, this is another piece of crap from Uwe Boll, the twit responsible for several cinematic abortions. Here he at least has the good sense to forego pretentions and cut loose with some gory violence. In fact, BloodRayne uncut might be the bloodiest big budget movie of 2006. You've got numerous stabbings, decaps, limb removals, heads bashed in, swords embedded in faces, Hammer Horror vampire deaths, blood sprays, and a even body cut in half. The obviously tacked-on coda (you know because the commentary track goes silent for two minutes) includes a montage of alternate takes showing some fine moments of bloody carnage. The story is confusing, the stellar cast clearly uncomfortable, and the wig budget must have been well into seven figures. Hybrid vampire babe Kristanna Lokken (Terminator III) shows her breasts briefly. Wonderful trash.	2006 DVD uncensored
Hell Comes to Frogtown Roddy Piper, looking rather bemused, is in it. That's about all I can say to recommend Hell Comes to Frogtown. It's certainly different, and made on a shoe string, giving it some low-fi charm. But it plays better in retrospect than for real. There's just too many dull fucking passages. The two post-apocalyptic babes who accompany Piper on his mission to repopulate the dregs of society in order to raise an army against warlords were both perfect 10s (dancer Bergman was in Red Sonja and Conan the Barbarian).	1987 DVD
Naked + Ah yes, it was a treat to see Mike Leigh's Naked again after ten years or so. It still holds up as the ultimate slacker movie. I imported the Criterion DVD, which currently has the only anamorphic transfer of this film in the world, together with a commentary by Leigh and some other bonus goodies. Because it's all been said before, I'll just conclude by imploring you to see Naked ASAP. It's out locally in a 4:3 transfer – if you have a widescreen telly, just zoom in to simulate the cinema ratio.	1993 DVD
Return of Count Yorga Review pending.	1971 DVD
Count Yorga Vampire Review pending.	1970 DVD
The Hudsucker Proxy + Repeat viewing.	DVD
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow Review pending.	2004 DVD
Dumb and Dumber Review pending.	DVD extended
The Enforcer + Review pending.	1976 DVD
Magnum Force Review pending.	1973 DVD
Contraband + Review pending.	DVD
I Stand Alone Review pending.	DVD
The Patriot + Review pending.	DVD extended
Downfall Review pending.	DVD
Happy Birthday to Me Review pending.	1980 DVD
The Omega Man Review pending.	DVD
Super Girl Review pending.	DVD director's cut
Spun Review pending.	DVD
Monster House 3D I've typed up a full review for Digital Retribution. See this for the 3D projection, which uses a new technique called Real-D. It's excellent. The movie itself is anachronistic in light of work done by Pixar and others to drag animated features and kids films in general out of the 1980s. It comes as no surprise then that Robert Zemeckis and Steven Spielberg were involved. Move on, fellas. Lay down and die like the other dinosaurs.	2006 cinema
The Bachelor Review pending.	TV
Saturday Night Fever Review pending.	1977 DVD
Lady in the Water I have written a full review for Digital Retribution. In summary, this is a bad movie even by M. Night Shyamalan standards. Enter at your own risk. The BBCi website called it "a resounding plop". Hahahaha.	2006 cinema
Strip Nude for Your Killer Review pending.	DVD
Scars of Dracula Review pending.	DVD
Jersey Girl + Ouch. Well, it doesn't stand up to repeated viewing, which is disappointing because I thought it had sleeper potential. The flaws (Affleck, hackneyed story, sentimentality, poor supporting characters, and so on) really stick out. Later I listened to the participants on the DVD commentaries brood over the critical bashing this Kevin Smith film has received, particularly at test screenings where audience members laughed at the wrong bits. You win some and you loose some. Ultimately, Liv Tyler is the best reason to see Jersey Girl. In her presence, Ben Afflect actually remembers to act and becomes a real human being. Hmmm, I wonder what Richard Linklater could have done with it...	2004 DVD
The 40 Year-Old Virgin: XXXL Version I snapped up the DVD during a recent cut in its wholesale price. This is the extended (by 17 minutes) version, which clocks in at about 126 minutes. I thought it was very amusing, not in a constant belly laugh way, but just in its portrayal of the titular character (played by co-writer Steve Carell) and his environment, which includes the bachelor pad from hell, a low-status job at the local home theatre appliance store, loser work colleagues, horny psychotic women, a short course on boozing in clubs, the pitfalls of speed dating, and so on. If you want the last word on chronic male virginity, the two hours plus release of The 40 Year-Old Virgin is pretty much definitive. The thread on IMDB called "You can't pee when you have an erection" should give you an idea of what to expect. I'm not sure yet if the film suffered censorship before release or whether the extended version on DVD is just an indulgence.	2005 DVD
The Last Boyscout + More Hollywood brutality, this time courtesy of Tony Scott. Written by Shane Black, The Last Boyscout is one of the best examples of the whole crime action drama cycle, mainly because of the witty script, slovenly characters, and the constant threat of violent death. I still suspect it was censored before release. No evidence found yet.	1991 DVD
Payback Code Monkey recommended this bruising Mel Gibson actioner to me and I was impressed. Like many successful mainstream action filmmakers, Mel Gibson just seems to 'get it'. If you tell a violent story, you must make it violent. Like the output from contemporaries such as Ron Howard, there's utterly no ambiguity in Gibson's own films that would make them more artistic. What you see is what you get. The closest he's come to anything resembling art is The Passion of the Christ. The earlier Payback is also steeped in violence, although in the more cartoonish, pulp fiction world of crime bosses, kinky hookers and corrupt cops. It's the American cousin of Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrells and anticipates David Cronenberg's excellent A History of Violence, which was based on a graphic novel published before either film. Anyway...Payback is great fun and worth owning for less than $10 if you can find it.	2004 DVD
Eraser + Arnie is eminently watchable. This minor title in his career gets extra mileage from director Chuck Russell, the man who managed to make a good film out of the generally awful Nightmare on Elm Street franchise ("What a rushhhh..."). Before Dream Warriors he made a splash (more like a splat) in the horror genre by modernising The Blob (1988). Lately he directed the lame Scorpion King and is working on a remake of Piranha. OK well, Chucky's not the most artistic of filmmakers, as evidenced by the CGI alligator scene in Eraser, but his movies never fail to entertain either, because he understands where B-movies sit on the totem pole.	1996 DVD
Night of the Hunter Somewhat creepy and disturbing, it may put some modern audience members to sleep. Robert Mitcham is terrific as the amoral, sociopathic preist. For some reason the DVD transfer is full frame 4:3. I zoomed in to fill my 16:9 TV and found that the compositions were okay.	DVD
THX 1138: Director's Cut Yep, the early George Lucas experimental film, although it was more of a collaboration with sound designer/film editor Walter Murch, who co-wrote the screenplay, than purely Lucas' baby. The DVD commentary with Murch and Lucas is quite interesting, especially the remark about wanting the movie to be not just about the future, but seem to be from the future, hence the deliberately disjointed narrative. At the very least, THX 1138 is a fine addition to my DVD wallpaper collection – you know, something to look at whilst playing CDs and drinking bourbon with friends.	1970 DVD
Contact + With each viewing, familiarity erodes the magic. I own the novel by the late Dr Carl Sagan and might give it a try if the reviews say it's significantly better. It is a thick book, and it's hardly the case that I've got nothing else to read (or watch). I still consider this one of the great science fiction movies of the 1990s.	DVD
The Legend of Hell House Scripted by Richard Matheson himself from his novel Hell House, hence no suprises for guessing that the movie parallels its source closely. Since I had problems with the book (not very scary) my low expectations were met by this adaptation by John Hough, whose resumé includes Twins of Evil and The Incubus. These titles and others share his intrusive directing style, which works well in The Legend of Hell House. Roddy McDowell is outstanding as Fisher, the sole survivor of the previous group that tried to tame the Belasco residence. Despite an impressive set and a menacing atmosphere, it never becomes as terrifying as The Haunting or as creepy as The Shining. For horror collectors, this title was going for under $10 pesos in various sales bins, and should fill out your haunted house section nicely. The transfer by Warner Bros is quite sharp and detailed, too, given the age of the fillum.	1973 DVD
Light in My Eyes A weepy romantic Italian drama screened by SBS. Staying up to watch films on TV late on a 'school night' is still fun to do. The movie plays out its unrequited love story well. This is not a 'fun' drama, but instead a serious attempt to portray a rocky romance between a gaunt, distracted limo driver (him) and a struggling fish shop owner (her), who is also a single mum. Rome has never looked so grey and bleak, and for most of the film, that's how you could describe their relationship. A subplot concerning a loan shark mirrors the opportunism that informs the main drama. Worth the effort.	TV
Rebel Without a Cause All right, I acknowledge that it has cult status. Much of it though suffers from maudlin story telling, with James Dean being the prime reason to see this movie. One other aspect worth noting is how the clueless parents are portrayed. Their self-obsessed braying rings true with current social dynamics and emotional intelligence theory. The two-disc DVD I bought cheap features a disappointing film transfer. I can only assume that either Warner Bros could not find a better print, or the budget for this special edition didn't include spending a cool $1,000,000 to do the job properly. No matter. I doubt it's ever looked this good on home video before. The audio commentary mentions scenes cut before its initial release to appease the censors of the time.	1955 DVD
The Hudsucker Proxy "You know...for kids!" Talk about mad, lunatic brilliance. Unlike many of the Coen Brothers' zany, more epigrammatic outings, this one actually worked for me, maybe because I work in the corporate antfarm, it was co-written by Sam Raimi, or perhaps because of similarities to Terry Gilliam's Brazil (1985), which cannot be accidental. It's best to watch the film without knowing anything about it, so I'll cut the commentary off here and simply say...see it ASAP. I should be giving the DVD another spin before returning it to its owner Marylu, who is the biggest Coen Brothers fan I know.	DVD
Cop + A gritty crime thriller from the 1980s that was sourced from Elmore Leonard's novel Blood on the Moon – a slightly better title than Cop, one may be forgiven for thinking. Anyway, this flick stars the incomperable James Woods in the lead role as a wired, womanising, workaholic, chain-smoking homicide sargent, chasing a suspected serial killer in Los Angeles. You have to love moments such as Woods going to kick a door open but it stays shut. This is also one of those few police procedurals that emphasizes the drudgery, political red tape, and excessive paperwork involved in fighting crime. Strangely, the villain ends up being a let-down. That said, his unseen presence in the film and his effect on the characters is a force that drives the narrative forward. It's been a while since I saw Cop on VHS years ago. Nice to see it arrive on digitally violent disc for under $10 with a shiny new MA 15+ rating. It used to be M.	1987 DVD
Breakfast at Tiffany's Yeah I liked it. The main character, played by Audrey Hepburn, was more troubled than I had expected, basically to the point of having a personality disorder. Her freaky, incongruent behaviour should also be familiar to any frustrated males out there, heh heh. So it was more realistic than I had expected to be, although there are many Blake Edwards-esque comical touches that lighten it up. For instance, the whole party sequence is a knock out. The cat in particular is awesome, lying in the kitchen sink or jumping up onto people's shoulders. George Peppard was a bit bland, but that was probably necessary for contrast against Hepburn's mega-ditz hooker act. I scored the latest DVD release and it looks fucken amazing on my Loewe CRT.	DVD
The Night Porter Finally saw it. The Night Porter is slow and plodding, and yet it's quite memorable and poignant upon reflection, reminding me of The Unbearable Lightness of Being and Damage, which contains a scene that may have been inspired by some carpet wrestling in this film. I also think that both of these equally intense psycho dramas attempted to pay homage to Night Porter's denouement. The kinky concentration camp romance is fairly tame: no Ilsa-style human experimentation or electro torture here, just a couple of subdued, though interesting, flashbacks. Dirk Bogarde and Charlotte Rampling were perfectly cast in this shadow play about the darker side of passion. Filmmaker Liliana Cavani went on to write and direct Ripley's Game in 2002.	1974 DVD
Road House + It is pure Hollywood trash, make no mistake. Think The Karate Kid crossed with Tango and Cash and a hint of Dirty Dancing thrown in for good measure. The strangely compelling narrative sees club security doyen Dalton (Patrick Swayze) take over as top bouncer at the Double Deuce, a crumbling roach saloon in the middle of Bumfuck, USA. This club is rife with corrupt employees and drunken, brawling patrons who could qualify as bogans if they grew some brains and stopped fucking their sisters. Good-guy Swayze, all buff from martial arts workouts, plays it cool until local bully boy Brad Wesley (Ben Gazzara) shows his redneck Mafia stripes. Cue tit-for-tat violence, pointless nudity (Swayze and love interest Kelly Lynch both strip off), unintentional comedy, and pages of bad/genius dialogue. I'm sure this is Harold Pinter's favourite movie. Road House is not art but it's far more honest than 100 other diluted Follywood abortions that trade on exploitation values without delivering the goods. Watch out for the special edition DVD coming soon, with Kevin Smith (Clerks) yapping away like the fan boi he is on one of the commentary tracks.	1989 DVD
Nekromantik II + Screening for friends. I really enjoyed it this time. Perhaps watching it with two women added something to the experience, since the story is told from a woman's point of view. Sicko entertainment with a poignant and blackly comical edge to it.	DVD
Angel Guts: Red Vertigo Review pending.	DVD
Angel Guts: Red Porno Review pending.	DVD
School of the Holy Beast Review pending.	1974 DVD
Sex and Fury Review pending.	1973 DVD
Superman Returns Richard Donner's Superman (1978) was pure cheese. For a rollicking good time, watch it on DVD at home with all six speakers going full blast. This new remake by Bryan Singer (The Usual Suspects, X-Men) pays homage to all that 1970s cheesiness. And then...goes nowhere with it. I understand why most critics liked it: because the lack of action scenes failed, for once, to alienate reviewers who don't understand genre conventions. I suppose Superman fans liked it because it treated the subject with respect, even reverence. Is it a good film, though? Held up to scrutiny, Superman Returns just doesn't work. The thin story is weak. Superman (Brandon Routh) disappears to see if remnants of Krypton survived? Yeah right. This conveniently allows Lex Luthor (Kevin Spacey) to hatch another scheme, and Lois Lane (the bland Kate Bosworth) to fall out of love with Superman. Hence we are thrown back to where Donner's Superman started, with Clark Kent wanking over Lois in the loo, Lex Luthor chasing real estate, and Superman doing random good deeds. The story twist is dumb (how? when? why?) and the final act is tedious and uninvolving. The cast is OK, as are the special effects. Otherwise, big whoop. With the Batman, Spider-Man, X-Men and Fantastic Four CGI franchises ticking over box-office revenue, it was inevitable that Superman would have his suit taken out of storage. Perhaps the next installment will echo the success of Spider-Man II and trump its predecessor. The original Superman II is being re-edited (again) for its mega-Superman DVD boxed set release later this year.	2006 cinema
The Devil's Rejects I want to help finance Rob Zombie's next movie! While there's nothing new in The Devil's Rejects, you have to admire the rawness and energy of this production. The cast is fantastic and the sex and violence quotient is high. The spectre of an American R rating for its cinema release may have caused Rob Zombie to pull punches during the screen writing and filming process. Despite aiming for a hard R, it was still CFDUSTD with minor trims. Our DVD is uncut, like the US unrated release. You could do worse than buying this sucker sight unseen for under $15, as I did.	2005 DVD uncensored
American Psycho + Repeat viewing.	DVD
X-Men III: The Last Stand I had lots to say about it when I saw it, but now (several weeks later) the moment has passed. In summary: it was better than expected, and yet it lacked the gravitas of the first two installments. And the big battle scene at the end, spectacular as it was, struck me as illogical. It may have played better in the comics. Nice to see Mystique denuded, finally. (See, I told you I had nothing much to say.)	2006 cinema
X-Men II + Repeat viewing.	DVD
Twins of Evil + Repeat viewing.	DVD
Faster, Pussycat, Kill! Kill! An incredible cult movie that lives up to its hype. I don't really have much to comment on, except that it shows the late Russ Meyer to be some kind of genius. All of his films are recommended rentals, if not purchases. Nice to see Up! cluttering up retail shelf space finally. It was one of the titles confiscated from me by Customs in 1991.	1960s DVD
Panic Room + Even minor-league David Fincher is gripping cinema – the opening credits alone are superb. Jared Leto and Dwight Yokum as two crooks are hilarious. I can't imagine watching this very dark and sooty looking movie on an LCD flat panel display, the shadow details just wouldn't be there.	2002 DVD
Ong-Bak Forget Ron Howard and Tom Hanks. Here's some real cinematic entertainment. Ong-Bak is a Thai martial arts movie featuring what I believe to be the discipline of Thai boxing. The fights are realistic and blows seem to connect in a painful fashion. Now, I'm no choppy socky genre expert, but I thought this modest flick, which promised little but delivered plenty, was a cracking good yarn well told, reminding me of early Jackie Chan. I loved the Australian 'Big Bear' fighter and also the lanky Australian tourists employed (?) as extras watching matches in the arena. It's so bloody obvious they're Aussie blokes. I sat through the longer (by five minutes) Thai version. The local DVD from Eastern Eye via Madman (recently sold for $34 million) has both the French theatrical version and the original Thai version. Not sure if anything was censored, since the infamous knee snapping incident was in both versions.	2005 DVD uncensored
Family Guy Presents: Stewie Griffin, the Untold Story Yeah, it gave me a number of solid belly laughs. As with The Simpsons, the writing approach is utterly transparent (family dramas, surreal tangents, pop culture references, etc. etc.) and too similar to that show for me to become hooked. I know that makes me sound like a total killjoy punce, but that's the toxic truth. What I enjoyed most were the crass jokes and especially the Bugs Bunny vignette. Brilliant.	2005 DVD
Toolbox Murders This Tobe Hooper (Texas Chain Saw Massacre) remake presents the usual agonizing plot build-up (more Nancy Drew crap) and more of those tedious 'kooky' characters that make watching most modern horror flicks a torture test. It picks up whenever people die, and I was surprised to discover that the maniac is a Leatherface clone. Yes, Hooper revisits his Chain Saw roots here, wheeling out familiar features such as the bone shrine, the female hero, and subjecting victims to sadistic demises. Beyond the killing methods, traces of real consanguinity with the original Toolbox are tenuous at best. The missing gore, which is quite strong in the case of the drill and circular saw deaths, appears in the DVD deleted scenes.	2003 DVD censored
The Toolbox Murders A true 1970s classic and once banned in Australia, if memory serves. The last half of the story fizzles out; most of the sex and violence fireworks are crammed into the first act. Nice to see it at last all the way through. I'd already previewed the first 15 minutes a ways back and didn't think the rest of the movie could live up to it. I was right.	1977 DVD
Dead Birds A promising scary movie that stumbles at the end because the writers' failed to crystalise their ideas properly. Worth a look, though. There's a few good seat jumper moments, and the gore gets nasty here and there, including a bloody bank robbery sequence in the first five minutes that brings to mind The Wild Bunch – not exactly a coincidence, I reckon.	2005 DVD
Ghost World + Repeat viewing. Buscemi is god.	2003 DVD
The DaVinci Code It is a bad film. Lately, I've been quizzing the few people I know who actually liked it, and discovered that it was the premise and intrigue they enjoyed, not the actual clunky story telling, lack of chemistry between the leads, or the general awfulness of the movie – flaws which they admitted were fairly evident upon further reflection. JC shacking up with MM and having a few rugrats? I can see it happening. The alternative scenario is much harder to swallow. Atheism or Death! Yes, well. Some violent footage was apparently censored in Britain to secure a lower rating there.	2006 cinema
V for Vendetta I just had a mildly euphoric drive home from the Chadstone Hoyts multiplex after catching one of the last screenings of V for Vendetta in the southern hemisphere. Why euphoric? Well, you see, I only finished the comic book yesterday afternoon in a marathon reading session, and there is something exhilarating about immersing yourself in art to that degree. The movie itself is not perfect, but guess what folks, the graphic novel ain't perfect, either. Sorry Mr Moore, you who purged your name from the film's credits. Anyway, I'll get around to the book in its own review. Punters who had not read the comic first must have sat through the first half of this film wondering whether it was too late to get a refund (I've been told 30 minutes is the deadline). Those mental giants at the Sunday Herald Sun gave it one star. Sure, many bits are clumsy, no doubt about it. Near the end, the power of the original tale shines through, and like the comic book, flaws can't stop this particular thematic juggernaut once it gets going. This adaptation is an honest attempt that is let down by a lack of style and very tricky source material. At least it's better than The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, which could be the next Alan Moore graphic novel I read.	2005 cinema
Fight Club + After finishing V for Vendetta the graphic novel this afternoon, I needed to watch something subversive. Ideally, catching the movie adaptation would have been choice, but to be frank, I'd had quite enough of the mask and "England Prevails". So...cue the opening credits to Fight Club.	1999 DVD
Island of the Fishmen A good companion piece to 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea? Perhaps not. Disappointing in exploitation terms, this Italian import DVD presents an impeccable transfer in PAL (yes, I checked) framed in the original 2.35:1 aspect ratio, and what appears to be the full-length version. Great fishmen costumes – very Lovecraftian. Alas, we don't see those dudes often enough. The violence is tame, too. This is not one of Sergio Martino's better efforts, but it's a jolly good one to have in the collection.	DVD
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea Yes, the big Disney production based on the novel by French fantasist Jules Verne. The DVD is going cheap locally – needless to say, the film has never looked better. For a Disney movie from the 1950s, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea contains drunken behaviour, mass murder, suicide, a monster squid, the electrocution of cannibals, an atomic explosion, and the line "My wife and child were tortured to death". Cheery entertainment! Kirk Douglas attempted to lighten these elements by hamming it up shamelessly. I'm not sure he succeeded. The film is compelling to watch, and the special effects hold up very well.	1955 DVD
Death Warmed Up + I've finally seen this Kiwi gore film uncut, courtesy of the Japanese VHS release. Sitting through it again was still painful: this is not a good horror movie by anyone's standards, although the steadicam shots are excellent, and may have inspired Jim Muro when he made Street Trash a few years later. The plot concerns Island of Dr Moreau style human experiments that, naturally, result in rampant homicidal behaviour and acne symptoms from hell. Cue much killing, brain surgery (including a great tumour removal scene), and mutant drongos running around in bad make-up. It's a good laugh and better than anything Australia had produced at the time, with the exception of the marvellously rotten Turkey Shoot. The impressive production values were made possible with the help of the New Zealand Film Commission. This horror fan wouldn't say no to an anamorphic special edition on DVD.	1984 VHS uncensored
The Black Belly of the Tarantula An early Italian giallo thriller from 1971, and a disappointing one overall. The muddled narrative features beautiful women being ambushed by a gloved nutcase in their mod apartments. They're dispatched by first having a long needed inserted at the nape of their necks, thus paralysing them as a spider does, and then they are fatally stabbed in the chest – sometimes with the boobs showing, naturally. The violence and nudity carries far less impact than later examples of this subgenre, so it's most valuable to aficionados only. Even though Blue Underground provided an Italian language track, I watched the English dub, because I love hearing people talk without commas. According to Horrorview, this is "The best giallo ever made." Yeah, right, dipshits. Detective Tellini (Giancarlo Giannini) later showed up in Mimic.	1971 DVD
Final Destination III Crappy, as expected. Part II is king, perhaps because it was directed by a stunt director, namely David Ellis, whose job is to visualise, plan and execute action scenes. James Wong, the dude who directed the first film (a movie I'm not fussed on), has an annoying, obvious and clumsy directing style. For instance, the rollercoaster sequence had no tension or horror in it at all, and the death shots were very lame. Computer generated people dying just isn't scary or disturbing. Throw the bloody PCs away and get back to old skool carnage. The nailgun and radiator fan kills were almost worth the price of admission ($15.00 thanks very much).	2006 cinema
Crash + With regards to this imported director's cut release: it's the same effing movie! Do not be sucked into this lame double-dipping crap, this time from Lion's Gate, unless you want to own the film and don't already have a copy. This film is still plenty good, with the law of diminishing returns kicking in upon my second viewing. While nothing more is revealed, the movie doesn't slide backwards either, like some do, making it a fairly safe purchase. Best Picture Academy Award? Er, no.	2005 DVD director's cut
Infernal Affairs Another Hong Kong gangster film. In this one, the twist is that the cops and the gangsters have infliltrated each other with moles, thus creating some tense moments, not least of which is a brilliant scene in which both men – not knowing each other's identity – have a mobile phone conversation. Hmmm. Just writing this summary has perked me up for another viewing. Maybe it's worth a higher rating than 7/10? If SBS ever shows it, try to tune in.	2002 DVD
Blade Trinity: Extended Edition Hey guess what, this third sequel is actually good. At least, this extended version is. Why anyone would want to see the short version when given a choice, as this DVD allows, is beyond me. Hip vampire movies have now reached saturation point, so let's skip the	2004 DVD
Fantastic 4 A potentially likable comic book and cartoon adaptation. What's wrong these days is the ultra-straight mentality of filmmakers. There are no in-jokes, cynicism, witty casting choices, memorable lines of dialogue, and so on. Of all the comic book directors only Sam Raimi seems to understand how to work the material to give more than what you see on screen.	2005 DVD
The Apartment A sharp comedy/drama by Billy Wilder starring Jack Lemon. After watching this movie and Some Like it Hot, I now understand what all the fuss is about. Good fun and worth a second viewing.	DVD
Shogun's Sadism One of the many Japanese films that deal with sadism. This example has good production values and a bizarre array of ancient tortures, all deployed on the flimsiest pretext so that as many as possible can be shown within 90 minutes. That said, Shogun's Sadism is quite a funny film.	DVD
The Ebola Syndrome Where do I start? Hahahaha. It's now out on DVD with an MA 15+ classification. This new release prompted much speculation on discussion boards about it being a shorter than normal censored version. Not so. Kudos to Siren for getting it out there to enrich our culture. The original lost footage is apparently gone forever, so this is as complete as it'll get, which is still fucken extreme. See it see it see it!!!	DVD censored
SPL A superb Honkers action picture which is quite violent in places. It's not out in Australia yet but a cheap imported original is only a few mouse-clicks away. It was interesting to see Sammo playing against type as a vicious head gangster. Lots of blood gets spilled and plenty of bone-crunching martial arts goes down. Twisted excellence.	DVD
Not Another Teen Movie + Sigh. Another extended version of a shit goofball comedy. Why bother extending it if there's no additional nudity or crudity? It doesn't seem cut for censorship reasons, thus the filmmakers weren't even imspired enough to aim for sleaze. I mean, are these idiots behind the camera still virgins or something? For fuck's sake.	2003 DVD uncensored
Wedding Crashers: Extended Edition It's good unpretentious fun and, to be honest, the profanity saves it. I watched the extended 'uncorked' version on import DVD. It has not been released Down Under yet. Will the distributor double-dip? We'll see. Owen 'beak nose' Wilson and Vince Vaughn are more enjoyable in this film than in other titles they've had out of late. Strangely, the plot parallels Hitch in some ways – you could call Wedding Crashers the anti-Hitch. The large supporting cast, which includes the always reliable Chris Walken and the distractingly too-pretty Rachel McAdams, fills out the marathon (for a comedy) two-hour running time. It's worth watching just for the "eye-fuck" and "Klingon" lines. Fucken hilarious. Another half star or more could have been earned if the screenwriters had not taken a few lazy short cuts. Nevermind. Well, I suppose I have to catch up with The 40 Year-Old Virgin extended version next. Can this popular comedy break the eight-star barrier?	2005 DVD
Earth vs Flying Saucers + A quaint science fiction tale made famous for the painstaking Ray Harryhausen animaton. Collectors rejoice – the DVD is anamorphic and looks terrific and the extras are engaging. The film itself unspools slowly, despite frequent special effects interludes. Down some caffeine beforehand, perhaps.	1956 DVD
The Grapes of Death Don't remember much of it, actually! The rating implies a cautious recommendation. I'll flesh this review out when more details swim up from my subconscious.	1978 DVD
Some Kind of Monster Yeah man, I dunno about this. As a long-time fan of early Metallica, who has seen several different fly-on-the-wall documentaries about the band when it was a much more interesting group, this glossy production falls flat. Go back and watch Cliff 'em All and the somewhat painful A Year and a Half in the Life of Metallica to see what I mean. One interesting aspect of Some Kind of Monster is that ex-bassist Jason Newstead is vindicated over his split with petulant biatches Hetfield and Ulrich; it must be nice to have some closure. Newstead is currently slapping da strings in the reincarnation of Voivod.	2004 DVD
A History of Violence David (Shivers, Rabid, Fast Company, The Brood, Scanners, Videodrome, The Dead Zone, The Fly, Dead Ringers, Naked Lunch, Crash, M. Butterfly, Existenz, Spider) Cronenberg continues his own brand of mainstream with A History of Violence, an ironic title that could apply to the director himself. The movie is solid entertainment, although it's no classic – it has a kind of flat, static quality that's mean to represent life in a small town, but it's uninvolving, too. In other ways it certainly matches well with the last film I saw, namely The Proposition, since both offer up surprising acts of brutality almost tailored to encourage audience participation, especially in the case of Cronenberg's film. The ending attempts to foster guilt at having enjoyed ourselves a bit too much, but the young audience I was with just snorted at the sentiment. Note that one of the artists involved in the graphic novel from which the screenplay was based is Vincent Locke, the dude who painted many gruesome (and censored) album covers for Florida death metal band Cannibal Corpse. I wonder how he handled the bloodshed? Must have a look. Overall, Cronenberg succeeds yet again at avoiding comfortable categorisation, confounding audience expectations, and generally making you feel uneasy. He also references both his own past films and several others, for example Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer and Miller's Crossing. Other aspects coming to me as I write this (at 12:34am) involve a series of preludes in the first half of the film that become grotesque distortions later on. Good stuff. Click here to see what author JG Ballard (Crash) thought of the film. Also, I'm not sure we have the uncensored print yet. The rating was reduced from R to MA on appeal.	2005 cinema
The Proposition A riveting and brutal western tale set in Australia circa 1880, The Proposition nevertheless runs out of narrative steam toward the end. The simple yet explosive screenplay, penned by musician Nick Cave, stages several moments of scary outback violence, keeping you on the edge of your seat the whole time. It even includes a hommage of sorts to The Passion of the Christ. Excellent! Afterwards you're left with the impression that Cave had a shopping list of attrocities he wanted to include in the film. Hey, nothing wrong with that – I'm easily pleased. Solid performances are turned in by the ensemble cast, too. Write more movies like this please, Mr Cave. A warning to surround sound owners: the 5.1 mix buried much of the mumbled dialogue, which forced me to rewind and turn on the subtitles to catch a number of seemingly important line readings, so you might want to boost the centre channel level before starting the film. Bloody annoying.	2005 DVD
Pride and Prejudice An entertaining adaptation of a book I own but have yet to read. I may end up owning it because for this genre it's stronger and more textured than most Hollywood attempts. Kiera Knightly, despite lacking the bosom volume that costume dramas of this kind usually demand, is appealing in the lead role. Remember: "attraction is not a choice" – David DeAngelo, pick up guru.	2005 DVD
Rize Moonlight Cinema screening. It follows the rap dance craze called 'krumping' that originated in the ghettos of Los Angeles. Very energetic moves combined with clown costumes. These folks obviously use the artform to release tension. This is much better alternative to gang violence.	2005 cinema
The Machinist An interesting film that plunders the identity crisis subgenre explored by Jacob's Ladder and Mulholland Drive. Christian Bale is a walking special effect who, according to Hank Hankerson, ate nothing but one tin of tuna and an apple per day to become a human skeleton. I had a surreal moment of my own watching the movie at home in pitch darkness: A spider crawling over a shot of Bale's filthy kitchen seemed to be another clever visual gimick (hmm, CGI?) until I realised it was a lost white tail scaling my Loewe TV screen. Yeah, good flick. The ending was never going to do the build up justice.	2005 DVD
Walk the Line My mini-cinema festival (three flicks in one day) ended with this fine biopic about Johnny Cash. Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Withersoon pull off great performances, perhaps the best of their careers, as Johnny Cash and June Carter. Directed and co-written by the talented James Mangold (Copland), the only failing I could find was that more effort could have been made to make Phoenix look like Cash. I mean, Cash never had a harelip, did he?	2005 cinema
Hostel This follow-up to his overly ambitious failure Cabin Fever sees young Eli Roth with a much better story, more control over the material, a serious tone, and additional helpings of sex and gore. Set in a fictitious Slovakian town, the plot concerns two American and one European backpackers who fall foul of an organised torture club run with the knowledge of the village authorities. The local hostel appears to be where they source their victims. How nasty are these people? Takashi Miike is one of their happy customers. Gulp. Hats off to Roth: taking his cue from Saw and Audition, he's delivered a brutal horror film in Hostel that also has a high sleaze quotient, pushing it into Aussie R 18+ territory. One scene involving occular damage even had me squirming in my seat. There is plenty of other KNB bloodshed to enjoy as well. And like Saw, most of the fun lies in watching the story unfold, so I'm not sure it's got much rewatch potential. For now I'm assuming that our theatrical version is missing about 16 frames (there are 24 frames in one second) of carnage censored for MPAA approval. Yet to be confirmed.	2005 cinema censored
Memoirs of a Geisha Here is a period piece so lush and sugary it may give you diabetes. It is, of course, based on the popular novel by Arthur Golden. Marylu lent me a copy of the book to read, but I haven't done so yet. After watching this adaptation co-produced by Steven Spielberg and directed by Rob Marshall, who also helmed Chicago, there's probably no need to. Gumblings on the Internet have already mentioned the casting of so many Chinese actresses in the main roles; this may turn some viewers off. It does seem to be an insult to the book. Ultimately, Memoirs of a Geisha lacks the resonance and grit a filmmaker such as Phillip Kaufman could have produced. The film is reportedly banned in China.	2005 cinema
The House with Laughing Windows Yet another bizarre and morbid Italian shocker released on import DVD. This one takes a while to ramp up, so don't watch it if you're snoozy. I nodded off a few times and had to reverse back to see bits I missed. The wacky revelations in the last 10 minutes make it worth persisting, ha-ha. I don't know what the Italians were smoking back in the seventies, but the legacy their film industry left behind is cinematic gold. For instance, watch out of Strip Nude for Your Killer on DVD. It should look as beautiful as this transfer from Image Entertainment (US).	1976 DVD
Night Train Murders Produced to cash in on the success of Wes Craven's 1973 shocker, you could call this Italian variant Last Train on the Left. It certainly follows the same basic plot and even stars a David Hess look alike, but ups the ante by setting the story at christmas time. Two girls (one a virgin) are travelling across Europe by train to attend a christmas dinner. During a leg on the night train, they are violated by two reprobates (one a junkie) and a posh woman (played by the psychic medium from Deep Red) who gets off on hearing herself discuss politics, having quick shags in the loo, and amusing herself with casual sadism. As with the Craven film, which itself was based on The Virgin Spring, the girls die horribly. Their assailants end up at the girls' home destination, where the roast has long gone cold. When dad finds out who the visitors are, he ain't happy. Once it gets going, Night Train Murders is highly enjoyable sleazoid trash from the 70s.	1975 DVD
Hitch + Repeat viewing.	DVD
High Fidelity + Repeat viewing.	DVD
What Women Want + Repeat viewing.	DVD
Bill Hicks: Live Before dying of cancer in 1995, Bill Hicks was a radical stand-up comedian who mixed poor taste and politics to deliver laughs and social messages. This Australian DVD contains three of his shows: One Night Stand (30 mins), Relentless (70 mins), and Revelations (75 mins). Also included is a documentary about Bill Hicks (43 mins), which repeats some of the footage as well as showing other snippets. Relentless is my favourite segment, since the London performance called Revelations drags on a bit and suffers from too much self-indulgence, but that was Hick's approach. A great little package.	DVD
Brokeback Mountain The last act saves it from being a trite soap opera. Yes, it has to be said that this is no masterpiece. Also, they are bisexual cowboys, not gay ones. There is a teeny weeny difference, people. Performances are uniformly flawless, down to the boys speaking lines in a southern drawl so thick you keep expecting the actors to spit out the laundry at any time. Subtitles would have helped. I wasn't blown away by Ang Lee's direction – it was adequate, and didn't get in the way of telling the story. Saying that Brokeback Mountain is one of the great character dramas of 2005 doesn't say much about the competition. In real terms, what it has going for it are interesting characters and a fresh take on the formulaic love plot: meeting by chance, courtship, hot sex on the ranges, problems, and...well, see the movie.	2005 cinema
The Descent Well fuck me, a scary horror film. This makes two hits out of two for Neil Marshall, the Brit who helmed the excellent werewolf feature Dog Soldiers. In The Descent he presents another monster flick, this time set deep within in a cave with a cast of female adrenaline junkies, which makes a nice change to the blokiness of his previous film. The humour and kitsch angle is much more subdued in The Descent. It brings to mind Alien in its drive to build suspense and terror, and it succeeds most of the time. Watch this in DTS surround sound alone with the lights out for a creepy night of ghoulish spelunking entertainment. Terrific! Critically speaking, the movie falters in the last act, going over the top once too many times, and the action is sometimes impossible to follow, but this is a rollercoaster that basically lives up to the message board hype. Best line, spoken upon seeing the cavern entrance: "I'm an English teacher, not fucking Tomb Raider!" I might catch this in a cinema to see how it plays with an audience.	2005 DVD
Brothers in Arms + Yes, the backwoods revenge yarn is back, this time fucken uncensored on US VHS courtesy of Heathen. Woohoo! The film really does hold up the second time through, and the additional gore (brief but significant) and extended attempted rape footage makes it all the more prickly. Especially worth noting is Mitch Pilegghi as one of the wayward christian brothers. This is in the days before The X-Files, of course.	1989 VHS uncensored
Stryker Review pending.	VHS uncensored
Short Films: Awakenings, Aftermath +, Genesis Review pending.	DVD
Versus + Like Land of the Dead, the uncut version of this hommage to splatter films, crime films, samurai films, and The Matrix doesn't deliver the goods. I'm not even sure I can say what the extra shots were with any confidence. I've got no problem with the content or the direction, it's just that Versus is dull way too often. The lack of story kills it, a problem that was corrected in spades with Azumi.	DVD uncensored
After Hours My own nocturnal adventures are never this berserk, that's for sure. Martin Scorcese made After Hours in 1983, when The Last Temptation of Christ was crucified by production problems. Although After Hours might have a minor cult following, this dark comedy may not have dated too well for some modern audiences seeing it for the first time. I enjoyed its bizarre twists and weirdo characters. Murphy's Law reigns supreme in this tale of urban menace, a common theme for Scorsese.	1983 DVD
Copland: Director's Cut Another movie circumcised by the Weinstein brothers at Miramax, Copland is now available in the US in this longer director's edition, running to approximately 116 minutes. The extra scenes give the film more scope and breathing space. Consequently, the sense that the story is basically a western yarn set in modern times is stronger than before, lending weight to its mythic sensibility. It's been a while since I saw the theatrical version on DVD, so I can't list the restored scenes in detail, but one amusing segment mentioned by the participants on the audio commentary has Sly Stallone flashing his prodigious gut as he crawls out of bed one morning. Highly recommended if you're a fan of the movie. No word yet of an Australian release of this excellent director's cut – I do believe that Roadshow own the licence.	DVD
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy A lame comedy co-written by Will Farrell, a professional funny man who seems to be more hilarious whenever he's not in a film, for instance, goofing around at the Academy Awards. He's actually very good here as the fictional newsreader Ron Burgundy, it's just that the screenplay just isn't remotely funny or clever. This is another 'comedy' struck from the Zoolander mold, with another painful reconstruction of life in the 1970s thrown in for good measure. The only appended scene that seemed obviously so involves a gag where Burgundy walks around the newsroom office with an erection in his pants after asking Christina Applegate out on a date. It's a potentially funny moment that, like many in the film, is utterly wasted.	2004 DVD uncensored
The Aristocrats What a giggle. It's not really appropriate to give this an objective rating, since it's not your typical documentary, constructed with a clear purpose and a sensible structure. The subject of this film is a joke told among comedians, primarily for their own amusement and other's bewilderment. After hearing the joke, I couldn't believe the next 90 minutes were going to centre on the joke and those who love telling it. Then, after about 20 minutes, the absurdity of it all became infectious and I understood why 'The Aristocrats' is reverred as a fetish object among the likes of Robin Williams, Paul Reiser, Billy Connelly, Drew Carey, Sarah Silverman, and about 50 other comedians. Honestly, the number of belly laughs are few and far between, but each time a delivery works, you become more and more seduced by this circus of lunacy. Recommended, but don't pay full price.