| 2005 viewing | ||
saturday |
Daredevil: Director's Cut
More live-action superhero bullshit courtesy of 20th Century Fox, the studio that had great success – financial and artistic – with the X-Men adaptations. Not so with Daredevil. If possible, avoid the braindead accountant's version and go for the longer (by 30 minutes) director's cut, which dumps the love scene and restores: a subplot featuring Coolio, censored violence, and grace notes for certain characters. Or better yet, just read the comics. The general criticisms leveled against the film are justified, particularly the poor casting of and performance by Ben Affleck, who, besides being unbelievable in the title role, also contributes a miserable narration that makes you think he's channeling Harrison Ford from Blade Runner. The CGI effects are also anything but special. Even Colin Farrell is useless as Bullseye, one of the most asinine movie villains in recent memory. Try to catch Frank Miller and Stan Lee in cameo appearances. |
   2003 DVD director's cut |
| Mulholland Drive +
Bloody hell, it's been years since I first saw this – how time flies. You really need to be in the mood for solving puzzles to enjoy most David Lynch films. Mulholland Drive is similar to Lost Highway, another film that baffles audiences with its identity warps. However, I find that quality compelling. The keys to understanding Lost Highway and Mulholland Drive are the identity and non-linear narrative games that Lynch plays. Because his protagonists are confused, he wants us to be confused, too. When you think about it, this is extremely clever filmmaking that puts you inside the head of someone whose sense of reality, time and self are fractured. Like Memento, the viewing experience may not be 'enjoyable' in the usual way. But if you're tired of crap such as Daredevil, films like Mulholland Drive are a godsend. Several excellent articles that dissect the movie are only a Google search away. |
2001 DVD | |
thursday |
Soldier Blue
Yet another long-awaited viewing. Yes, tonight I finally watched it via the Dutch DVD, hoping it would be uncut. And, praise the Lord in heaven above, it does seem to be the full version. Soldier Blue presents two stories, one about a Cheyenne Indian massacre at the hands of US cavalry soldiers in 1864, and another that throws odd couple Cresta Lee (Candice Bergen) and Private Honus Gent (Peter Strauss) together as they struggle to reach a cavalry outpost. What do ya know, I really enjoyed the film. Even the much-maligned comic pairing of Bergen and Strauss was entertaining to watch as they bicker, cuss, then slowly fall for each other. As for the anachronistic dialogue and historical gaffes, such as mentioning Custer's defeat 12 years before it happened? Um, the less said the better, ha-ha. The bloody violence (not to mention the cynicism) takes its cue from Sam Peckinpah's The Wild Bunch – this is one of the goriest westerns you will ever see. That being said, the butchery is infrequent, with special effects that are cheesy by today's standards. There's nothing too disturbing here, unless the sight of red Dulux paint makes you ill. (Well, there is also a rape, plus some kids get killed.) Big thanks to RCV, Studio Canal and Kinowelt, the distributors responsible for putting out this beautiful anamorphic PAL transfer. What a way to see it! The old Aussie tape is probably the cut US PG version. To be confirmed. |
1970 DVD uncensored |
wednesday |
The Chronicles of Narnia
Better than expected, mainly because seeing such a menagerie of mythical monsters was a pleasant surprise in a kids movie, reminding me a bit of Clash of the Titans. The CGI effects work is excellent – it only slips occasionally during the fight sequence in the canyon. On the down side, for me anyway, there was no emotional connection at all to the characters. The Chronicles of Narnia might be pretty to look at, and perhaps even faithful to the C.S. Lewis books, but in terms of drama, it's walking corpse. And when did Liam Neeson turn into such the bore? |
2005 cinema |
tuesday |
Shaun of the Dead +
Astute readers (or reader) may have noticed that the rating for SOTD has been promoted to four stars. I bought the DVD today for the princely sum of $13, and gave it a spin on the Pioneer just to watch the first five minutes. That's all. Of course, I sat through the whole film. Curiously, Code Monkey's UK DVD wouldn't play for more than a few minutes before crashing the MPEG decoder. This Aussie release was flawless. How bizarre. |
2003 DVD |
monday Blind DeadMarathon |
Tombs of the Blind Dead
A major component of the Euro-cult syllabus, Tombs of the Blind Dead now comes to us remastered from an uncut Spanish print, courtesy of Bill Lustig and the mondo maniacs at Blue Underground. Objectively, the movie has many failings, none of which affect its poster-boy status among rabid genre fans. Personally, I found it slow, yet compelling to watch – those equestrian zombies going about their foul business by moonlight struck a chord. The characters are relatively well drawn for this kind of hokum, and the crude gore effects will keep me coming back for repeated viewings: the infamous breast cutting set-piece would put the film into R 18+ territory even today. Love the ending. |
1971 DVD uncensored |
| Return of the Evil Dead
Faster paced but lacking the charm of its predecessor, Return of the Evil Dead is more of an action film, with those galloping Templar Knights this time laying waste to a village on the 500th anniversary of their persecution at the hands of religious right-wingers. Director Armando De Ossorio, an inept genius from the Jess Franco school of accidental auteurism, saw fit to insert footage from Tombs of the Blind Dead to pad the running time, milking what little budget there was at hand. In terms of carnage the violence is more plentiful, thanks to a surfeit of victims who run directly into the rotten arms of their undead slayers. Again, an uncut Spanish print was sourced for this DVD. |
1973 DVD uncensored | |
| The Ghost Galleon / Horror of the Zombies
A change of backstory locates our dozing Templar Knights onboard a 16th century galleon which is hidden by a feculent patch of fog, much like the ghost ship in Pirates of the Caribbean. Their slumber is interrupted by two bikini models enacting a publicity stunt by pretending to be lost as sea (yes, really). Reps from their agency investigate when radio contact is broken, and before you know it, the seas runneth red with blood. Holy crap, this puppy was bloody slow; worse than watching cricket. It also looked cut: no gratuitous shots of a fake torsos being stabbed in close-up here, just choppy glimpses of poorly lit butchery and, worse, budget friendly off-screen kills. The atmosphere was creepy enough. Too bad the movie is just plain awful, though not beyond revisiting on a stormy night, heh heh. |
1975 DVD censored? | |
| Night of the Seagulls
Well, after enduring three Blind Dead movies back to back, this reviewer was feeling more than a little 'blind and dead' himself. Luckily, Night of the Seagulls actually resembles a real fillum, with decent actors, a coherent story line (ripped off from Straw Dogs) and – shock, gasp, horror – a trace of continuity with the previous movie! A young virile doctor plus wifey move to a dismal seaside town, taking up residence in a stone mausoleum that looks like a Hot Property from hell. These yupsters soon discover that Things Are Not Quite Right when church bells ring in the middle of the night and the villagers give them the cold shoulder. You guessed it, our moldy Knights Templar have lapsed back into their virgin sacrificing habits, dragging off maidens and dispatching them as fodder for a toad-like god that could be Dagon's cousin. Night of the Seagulls has the hallmarks of a classic pulp adventure yarn, with the hero and his babe fighting the forces of darkness. There's even the Euro-cult equivalent of a car chase, featuring riders on zombie horses galloping along a beach in slow motion. As no-frills beer 'n pizza diversions go, Night of the Seagulls fulfills its obligations. A nice way to end this quartet of cinematic doom. |
1976 DVD uncensored | |
sunday |
Run Man Run
This is the last title in Blue Underground's Spaghetti Western Collection I had to watch. Run Man Run has some of the best storytelling of the bunch, aided by the performance of Tomas Milian as the likable rascal, Chuchillo. His particular deadly skill is with knife throwing, a talent that gets this smirking hero out of several tight spots. Marvellous fun. |
1968 DVD |
| And Now for Something Completely Different
I'm not a huge fan of Monty Python: one viewing of any given production is usually enough. This 'greatest hits' compilation of Flying Circus sketches is perfect for late night television, and therefore it caught me in a receptive mood. Despite being somewhat familiar, the presentation of these particular routines as a feature-length movie worked well for me. Might track down the DVD. |
1971 TV | |
saturday |
Rabid Granies
Christmas eve, and I was feeling under the weather. Hmmm, why not play a bunch of turgid 1980s gore films back to back? First up was this extended Dutch DVD of Rabid Granies from the Japan Shock label, with the missing carnage restored. Now, apparently, the director prefers the tamer version released by Troma in the US and Australia. I beg to differ, because the film is a fucking train wreck of goofball horror comedy, and it needs the bloodshed to have any merit or reason for existing. The laughable dialogue and poor acting is just entertaining enough to stop you from using the fast-forward button between the moments of graphic violence. Jesus wept, I waited a loooong time to see this chunkblower uncut. Worth the effort, though. |
1989 DVD uncensored |
| The Video Dead
Here's another golden mouldy refugee from the 1980s. To put things in perspective, Rabid Granies is better than this wastoid, low budget mess. I never realised how cheap it was. Judging by the effective artwork, I thought it might have looked like it was made for more than thirteen dollars and sixty cents. The story isn't bad, actually, and the narrative bops along at a steady pace. The gore is sporadic at best. I watched the US unrated VHS tape, which reportedly matches the old Australian rental. The running time was 89:56 NTSC. |
1987 DVD | |
| Breeders
A sleazy monster movie set in New York, Breeders delivers more female nudity and creature mayhem than its demure M 15+ rating might indicate. The budget-price anamorphic DVD from MGM is superb, and appears to be uncut. Grab a copy ASAP! Just prepare yourself for a major cheese-fest. |
1986 DVD | |
| Slugs +
Speaking of cheese, this adaptation of Shaun Hutson's eco-horror novel by J.P. Simon (Pieces, The Rift) benefits from better production values and acting compared to Breeders. Overall, the movie is still disappointing. Only some gory set-pieces (hand amputation, exploding eyeball, etc.) make it essential viewing for fans of trashy horror flicks. The DVD framing restores picture information on the left and right sides, giving the compositions more balance than the VHS presentation I saw years ago. My Dutch DVD also seemed to have the same amount of carnage as the old Aussie tape rental. |
1987 DVD | |
friday |
National Lampoon's Vacation +
The line "50 yards..." still makes me chortle, as does Clark blubbering like an infant when the family arrives at Wally World. Twenty years on, the rest has aged well and guarantees a night of easy viewing. That is, if you discount the agony of TV commercial interruptions. Just call me a DVD junkie, I suppose. |
1986 TV |
| Baron Blood
Here is yet another DVD I've had sitting on the shelf for years without bothering to watch it. Directed by the late, great Mario Bava, Baron Blood is the perfect nightcap if you're awake enough to endure the somnambulistic pacing and infrequent scenes of menace. The story concerns one Baron Otto Von Kleist, deceased for five hundred years, who has a past not unlike Vlad the Impaler's. Two seventies yuppies resurrect the Baron by reciting an ancient incantation. This is all choice Halloween malarkey until the passage that reverses the summons flaps into the fireplace. Whoopsy. First rule of messing with the occult: make back-ups of all unholy sacraments. And so Herr Baron returns with a face that resembles a Super Supreme pizza (courtesy of Carlo Rambaldi) and causes general mayhem. Bava was fairly old school, and thus not prone to exploitation when it wasn't called for. Although tame by today's standards – even compared to Bava's earlier splatterfesto Twitch of the Death Nerve (1971) – Baron Blood is worth seeing for the creepy atmosphere sustained throughout the picture. |
1972 DVD | |
thursday |
A Virgin Among the Living Dead
Behind the lurid, promising title is a dopey horror film by the prolific Jess Franco. The titular living dead are relatives of young Euro-honey virgin, Christina. Except for having cold skin and needing personality transplants, they are otherwise presentable castle dwellers, content to play debauched sex games with each other. These unliving party animals are attended to by a thug (portrayed by director Franco) who communicates by grunting, carries around chicken heads, and wears a permanent sheen of oily sweat. Nice chap. Don't be fooled into thinking this sounds intriguing – the story moves at a snail's pace, and the prurient aspects are limited to displays of female nudity, albeit rendered prosaic by Franco's stiff direction. Then again, it's actually good fun on that rarefied trash film level, where each out-of-focus shot and clumsy zoom somehow scores the movie points. A Virgin Among the Living Dead runs for a grand total of 78 minutes. |
1971 DVD |
tuesday |
Rumble Fish
A great little film from 1983, and perhaps the last good one directed by Francis Ford Crayola. There are plenty of references to David Lynch's black & white masterpieces Eraserhead (1977) and The Elephant Man (1980), plus a generous helping of Peter Bogdanovich's The Last Picture Show (1971), which appeared to be the biggest inspiration for the story and tone, even though Rumble Fish was based on a novel. The avant garde soundtrack is superlative, so crank it up to 11. |
1983 DVD |
monday |
40 Days and 40 Nights
Warning: insufferable male sex comedy ahead. To be fair, the commercial breaks probably trashed whatever tenuous narrative grip the movie had on its target audience of horny twenty-somethings. Another distraction was a Masters of Cinema episode playing on the ABC, featuring (drum roll please) Italian horror maestro and all-round snappy dresser, Dario Argento. Narrated by British genre doyen, Mark Kermode. With throws to the likes of George A. Romero, Tom Savini, and daughter Asia Argento. Inevitably, Joshy Hartnett and his post-pubescent Why Generation cyberstuds didn't stand a chance – I almost drained the remote control batteries switching between the ABC and channel Ten. On the other hand, it was noice to see such low brow, nudie toilet humour uncut and anamorphic on network television. Maybe there is hope for this bovine medium after all. |
2002 TV |
| Crash (2005)
Here is a Hollywood movie that actually has something to say, without resorting to excruciating melodrama or ambiguous subtext. No. These characters just emote their little hearts out in Dolby Digital 5.1 audio. Now, to get this outta the way first: they should not have disrespected David Cronenberg by calling this film Crash. He was upset by this eventuality, and I sympathise. It's the same arrogance that Michael Moore showed when he purloined Ray Bradbury's iconic Fahrenheit 451 title for Fahrenheit 9/11 without asking permission, or even acknowledging that Mr Bradbury was still alive and breathing and, gee, maybe perhaps upset, as well? Grow some sensitivity, dipshits. Right, moving along. This Crash presents a sampling of urban and domestic tensions – mostly concerning racism, miscommunication, and rotten ironic luck – through the lives of several people living in LA. You don't care that the script is overly sententious, or that the ensemble cast is a bit too starry, because it just pulls you along with plain old effective filmmaking: snappy dialogue, interesting shots, and best of all, by raising some topical issues. Basically, it feels like there's a lot of humanity in the film that rings true, both ugly and noble. An aspect I loved was that you never knew, during one of the many suspenseful set pieces in the movie, which of the participants might come off second best – the hand of fate rolling the dice. One of the best studio flicks of the year. |
2005 DVD | |
sunday |
Mannaja: A Man Called Blade
Cooked up in 1976 during the genre's decline, this is a late spag western directed by Sergio Martino, the man who delighted us with Torso and Slave of the Cannibal God, among others. Mannaja stars Maurizio Merli as a hirstue but handsome mercenary whose weapon of choice is the hatchet or 'mannaja' in Italian. Lots of scowling baddies discover this fact the hard way, if ya know what I mean. Martino has never claimed to be an artiste – for ample proof, look no further than Mannaja. On its own terms, though, the film doesn't disappoint, because the expected staples of Italiano westerns are all here: the corrupt warlord, the filthy sidekick, the friendly barman, opportunistic wenches, wide-angle shots of northern Italian deserts, bloody gunfights, a general disrespect for human life, narrow escapes, and the inevitable Django-like comeback by the hero in the last reel. |
1976 DVD |
| Sam Peckinpah: Man of Iron
A documentary about legendary director Sam Peckinpah – Straw Dogs, The Wild Bunch, The Getaway and Cross of Iron are some of his best known films. This 90 minute obituary appears to have been made just after his death in 1983. While it lacks the slick editing and utilitarian approach of modern making-of featurettes, the interviews and archival footage presented here probably represent the definitive record of Peckinpah the man. |
1992 TV | |
saturday |
King Kong +
Jessica Lange to King Kong: "Choke on me!" Muwahahaha. As Jim Schembri said in his The Age newspaper review, Peter Jackson's remake also incorporated ideas from this camp Dino de Laurentis production. The approach taken here is the most realistic of all versions. Before Kong makes his appearance, it's not hard to get into the story, despite the bloody awful hammy 'acting' of Charles Grodin, who has the funniest lines in the film. Everything post-Kong, though, has dated poorly. And we only see one other monster (a giant rubber snake) on Skull Island – total rip off! |
1976 DVD |
| House of Flying Daggers
Disappointing. Allowances have to be made for Chinese fantasy filmmaking – we all know that objects like stones and arrows can't fly parallel to the ground. Even so, this action cum melodrama was pretty lame, I thought. Note that the Australian DVD did not inherit cuts made in the UK for horse falls and in the US for gushing blood. |
2004 DVD | |
wednesday |
King Kong
Opening night, sellout 7:00pm session at Hoyts in Melbourne Central, discount tickets, drinks beforehand. What could go wrong? The movie, that's what. Incredibly, this $US200 million remake is on par with another hopeless cinematic retread I hated, War of the Worlds. Listen, the story sucks – it belongs in the 1930s era of motion picture romanticism and Astounding Tales pulp fiction that spawned it. Adventurers travel to a lost island, get attacked by monsters, the starlet woos a giant gorilla, they go back to New York where it all ends badly. Stupidly, Peter Jackson and his writers have not updated this insipid B-movie plot, they merely reshot it with modern filmmaking techniques. I mean, for fuck's sake, the Jurassic Park franchise plundered this territory three times in the last ten years. It's gone stale. Some corny dialogue and melodrama didn't help, either. Jack Black was clearly miscast, and the love affair between Anne Darrow and Jack Driscoll was dead on arrival; zip chemistry. I liked the ship's crew, and the Haitian natives were interesting, although ultimately too cartoonish and 'Peter Jackson' to be believable. And the special effects? They vary from flawless (the ape) to bloody awful (the stampede scene). I must say that the whole Empire State building sequence is amazing. If only the rest of the effects work matched this level of quality. Too much motion blur and busy action ruined several potentially excellent monster sequences. It is also bloodless, and you never believe that Naomi Watts could survive being carried around in KK's paw like that without getting her neck broken. Ridicuous! Hence an objective rating of – mumble grumble – seven out of ten. But the misery guts in me really wants to give it a crappy score of about five. |
2005 cinema |
tuesday |
King Kong +
Hey, it works. My theory is that Peter Jackson's lavish remake stretches an already thin and rather preposterous story out from 100 minutes to 180 bladder-busting minutes. The much criticised 1976 remake, which I shall watch on the weekend to complete the mega-simian trifecta, runs for 134 minutes, a whopping 34 minutes longer than its predecessor, and it suffers. On the other hand, the original film works; it has charm. The fantasy is less ambitious, but that being the case, it requires less suspension of disbelief to enjoy. Not so with King Kong 2005. Unlike some fans, I am no great champion of this 1933 film, probably because I saw it after the 1970s special effects movies hit the screens and moved the goal posts. Youngsters seeing it today must laugh at the kooky B&W ape rendered in clay, just like Wallace and Grommet. It deserves its place in the pantheon of genre cinema, sure, but that does not make it a paragon of the form, a blue print for a verbatim remake. Unsurprisingly, ABC's print does not contain the lost spider pit sequence. |
1933 TV |
monday |
Evil Ed
Absolute rubbish. Made somewhere in Scandanavia, this horror film is crippled with a lame, hokey, chuckle-buck approach to splatter, without actually delivering the goods. The partial dismemberment via shotgun demise of Evil Ed is impressive, but it happens too waayyy too late in the piece. Honestly, I only imported this tape to compare it to the Australian VHS rental and the Dutch DVD, which is rumoured to be the longest extant version. |
1987 VHS |
saturday |
A Knight's Tale: Extended Version +
I quite enjoyed this film the first time around, as cheesy and irreverent to history as it is. Engineered as a saccarine audience pleaser, the strong performance by Heath Ledger keeps the formulaic, underdog-makes-good story boyant. I believe that the extended bits on my imported DVD were all included on the original DVD as deleted scenes. The more the better, I say. |
2001 DVD |
| Commando +
Note that the current Australian DVD is the censored version released on German DVD. Avoid it at all costs. The original Aussie VHS tape and the new US DVD of this action flick by Mark L. Lester (Class of 1984, Pterodactyl) contains the standard edition, complete with hammy acting by Arnold S. and some funny examples of people dying violently, and who can forget Vernon Wells as Colonel Matrix? Pure magic. |
1985 DVD censored |
|
| Lemony Snicket's: A Series of Unfortunate Events
Kids in peril solving problems? Ewwwww. This Jim Carey vehicle is worth seeing for the great Tim Burtonesque production design and art direction, as well as for the outstanding scene where a crumbling house collapses and falls into the ocean. I know someone who loves the picture, so check it out for yourself. |
2004 DVD | |
sunday |
Equilibrium
Wholly derivative of The Matrix, and a slew of other science fiction movies named helpfully by the director on the DVD commentary, Equilibrium is none the less a distinctive action movie. It works despite the wooden Christian Bale as John Preston, a Gammaton Priest assassin who stops taking Prozium and regains his humanity. When will people realise that this guy can't act? Just compare him to Sean Bean, who leaves a more indelible impression with far less screen time. Anyhow, I should be talking about the action scenes. Better than The Matrix? I think not. What you get are a handful of sharp, edgy skirmishes that rely on fast editing and the clever conceit that uses probability to anticipate the positions of antagonists. For the modest $20 million budget, Equilibrium does have a memorably oppressive look to its Orwellian futurescape, plus a good (though unoriginal) story at its core. Sadly, there's no sign of an Aussie release yet, maybe because it was a financial flop O/S. |
2002 DVD |
thursday |
Saw II
What a pleasant surprise. The film continues the sadistic moralising of ghoulish cancer man Jigsaw with a clever parody of Big Brother. This time the focus is a corrupt cop who has his son installed in a house by Jigsaw with six other victims. Positives this time around are: Dina Meyer (Starship Troopers), more gruesome booby traps, a relentless pace, lots more time with Jigsaw (played perfectly by Tobin Bell), and an excellent segue to the first movie. It looked censored, and some of the plot contrivances have been used before in other films, but like the original Saw, this sequel delivers the kind of raw horror that makes you want to run screaming from the cinema. |
2005 cinema censored |
tuesday |
Amélie +
This is becoming an annual event. For the record, SBS last screened it on 5/9/2004. "Times are tough for dreamers." Indeed they are. Amélie scored second place in this year's My Favourite Film poll on ABC. |
2001 TV |
sunday |
Necronomicon +
Well, I had always suspected it was cut. This is the gory Japanese version, probably taken from laserdisc. It seems to feature more footage of David Warner tearing himself to pieces, and several additional shots in the gruesome last story. The video transfer is darker than the trailer, making it difficult to see what's going on sometimes. Contrary to popular belief, the extra gore does indeed improve the film. Renouned macabre artist J.K. Potter was hired as a concept designer – a pleasant discovery upon reading the credits this time around. Of the men who directed these Lovecraft adaptations, Christophe Gans went on to make Brotherhood of the Wolf and Shusuke Kaneko is helming Azumi II: Love or Death. Not surprisingly, Brian Yuzna directed the weakest entries. A French DVD also exists and it's supposed to be uncut. |
1994 DVD uncensored |
friday |
Lord of the Rings – Return of the King: Extended Edition +
Awww, the tree bloomed purdy white flowers. This long version includes many excellent new sequences, e.g. the death of Christopher Lee and an avalanche of skulls in the city of the dead. Was the creepy mouth of Sauruman (Bruce Spence) bit an extra scene, too? I don't remember it in cinemas. In another regard, this epic adventure suffers on the small screen. No big surprise, really. The DVD extras are once again very absorbing – more than much of the film. In my opinion, the last 45 minutes just manages to elevate the movie into the realm of Art. No small feat. |
2004 DVD |
monday |
Me and You and Everyone We Know
Quirky, quirky – quirky...quirky. Quirky? This is an enjoyable romantic comedy that recalls Sideways and Ghost World. A recently divorced shoe salesman is chased by a day-dreaming performance artist (writer/director Miranda July) who is also trying to launch her career. Thrown into the mix, among other things, are the shoe salesman's taciturn kids chatting up women on the Internet, and his co-worker's attempts to bed two teenage virgins. Definitely worth hunting down for a change of pace and a number of stand-out set pieces. |
2005 cinema |
sunday |
Bully +
Reading the true-crime book by Jim Schutze prompted this viewing of Larry Clark's contemporary masterpiece. Well, I think it's one. Every scene and virtually all of the dialogue is from the original text – quite amazing. The only major changes the screenplay made are (a) in reality, the hitman got raided by the police in the dead of night, and (b) Lisa has a fuller figure than depicted in the film by Rachel Miner. Additionally, the book describes Ali's teenage prostitution ring in more detail, and covers one of the main trials in-depth. Some of the dialogue in the DVD 5.1 audio mix is hard to understand. Unfortunately our DVD has no subtitles, unlike the US disc. |
DVD |
tuesday |
Boogie Nights +
Here is one of my top tens – what a treat. Selected to pair up with last night's porn industry doco, Boogie Nights has everything: great cast and performances, snappy direction that references other directors respectfully, a strong script, an amazing soundtrack and music score, incredible one-take stedicam shots, etc. One day I will actually see it projected onto a movie screen. That is something to look forward to. Hard Eight is excellent and Magnolia is something special, but I cannot embrace Punch-Drunk Love. Anderson's new feature There Will be Blood is due for release in 2006. A return to form? |
DVD |
monday |
Inside Deep Throat
Yes, you do see brief footage Linda's special talent. This is an entertaining documentary about the making of Deep Throat. However, it goes further than the mechanics of making a porn film about a woman who has a clitoris in her trachea. The movie was the whipping boy of morals crusaders in 1970s American politics, a trail of slime that led all the way up to the president. The fact that Nixon campaigned for censorship speaks volumes. On the flip side is the Mafia's financing of the production and the subsequent cash windfall they received. The documentary moves fast and solicits comments from the likes of Norman Mailer, Gore Vidal, John Waters, and the main players in front of and behind the camera. Essential viewing for the culturally enlightened. Cheers to the Kino cinema in Melbourne for allowing patrons to drink beer during their features. |
cinema |
sunday |
Ryôjoku mesu ichiba – kankin
The Japanese sexploitation overview continues with this story about a slavery operation that kidnaps attractive women and sells them to buyers in Africa. Most of the girls capitulate, two resist and suffer. Written by Japanese softcore alumni Kazuo 'Gaira' Komizu and directed with leering economy by Yasuaki Uegaki, Ryôjoku mesu ichiba – kankin (1986) takes five minutes to hit its misogynistic stride then doesn't let up for the next hour. The myriad number of lowlights include fingering a gunshot wound during a rape, and spitting out a severed penis during an escape bid – a nod to Last House on the Left. You have to admire filmmakers who demonstrate this much commitment to pure filth. |
DVD |
| Ikenie fujin
Made in 1974, this sadomasochistic psychodrama is addictive viewing. The extreme arrogance of the husband, who is clearly insane, introduces a layer of black comedy to the story. One assumes that director Masaru Konuma did the impressive rope work. |
DVD | |
| Entrails of a Virgin
Kazuo 'Gaira' Komizu wrote and directed this 1986 sex-horror abortion. The stupid 'entrail' scene is the best moment in the film, otherwise there is too much pointless softcore porn and weird business going on. The sumptuous DVD cover art on the box hides a real dog of a film (with apologies to canines everywhere). |
DVD | |
| Entrails of a Beautiful Woman
Marginally better than Entrails of a Virgin thanks to the infamous inside-out demon that kills of members of a Yakuza gang. Yeah, whatever. The special effects are more impressive this time around from that creative genius of the Japanese sinema, Kazuo 'Gaira' Komizu, who comes across as an arsehole in the DVD interview. It is sad that my impromptu Japanese sexploitation overview has to end on this sour note. |
DVD | |
tuesday |
Angel Guts: Nami
If the sick-fuck brigade (present) whinge that Wolf Creek doesn't go far enough, what kind of movie would satisfy their twisted criteria? Well, the Japanese film Angel Guts: Nami (1980) is one contender. It follows magazine journalist Nami (the gorgeous Eri Kanuma) as she interviews sexual assault victims for an article titled 'Rape and its Consequences'. During the course of her investigations, Nami's revulsion for the subject matter gives way to a morbid kind of fascination. When the inevitable happens her psyche implodes, leaving her shadowy suitor Muraki emotionally stranded. At this point, the movie's tight narrative also disintegrates, undermining the brilliant first two acts. Like most edgy Japanese erotica, this one sustains a brutal level of misogyny without showing full frontal nudity – the psycho surgeon attack is a prime example. Overall I was very impressed, and look forward to seeing more entries in the Angel Guts series. |
DVD |
sunday |
Wolf Creek
First rule of abduction: bind your victims properly, leave nothing to chance. Made locally with the assistance of various film commission bodies, this horror flick by Greg McLean is very Australian in its delivery, an aspect I thoroughly enjoyed. The tone is quite vicious and brutal once it gets going: a refreshing change from the usual teen market horror movies that use lame attempts at humour to make the experience more palatable. The performances are believable and the violence is handled deftly, although it's not that bloody or gruesome. Unfortunately the story runs out of steam near the end, winding up abruptly with a disappointing coda. Alas, Wolf Creek breaks no new ground. It is well executed, and the villain (played by John Jarratt) has some memorable lines – we've all met blokes like this larrakin. While it could have gone a lot further, Wolf Creek should keep you occupied for 100 minutes. |
cinema |
thursday |
The Last Picture Show
Seldom Seen American Seventies Classics screening. A very arty movie from 1971 that is pregnant with understated subtext. Apparently it is a film studies favourite, and I can believe it. Seen through the tunnel of hindsight 30 years later, it is astonishing to me how modern the movie feels watching it today. The fact that it is a period piece set in the 1950s helps. Also worth noting is the black and white cinematography by industry giant Robert Surtees, who worked on some major productions including Ben Hur (1959) and Quo Vadis. For this, Peter Bogdanovich's third feature film, hiring a pro like that is akin to getting of likes Stephen Hawking to mark primary school maths papers. The Last Picture Show is not everyone's cup of tea: it moves slowly, and even the novelty of watching Texas bogans wears thin. For me, the dreamy, hypnotic quality was fully engaging, despite the purposely cornball acting. |
DVD |
wednesday |
Doom
Nine of us blokes ventured out to see Doom tonight at Hoyts in Melbourne Central, up where the Daimaru department store used to be. Well, the movie is crap. Not a complete waste of celluloid, mind you. It has one or two moments of gleeful futuristic mayhem. Compared to the actual game, which I played to the hilt before pretty much retiring from that past-time, this Follywood adaptation chews rancid maggots spilled from a dead hooker's gangrenous cúnt. Ooopse, sorry to get all graphic. And yet, I have to wonder about how an 'action' film, based on a full-on berserk computer game no less, and a very good one – nay, a paradigm of the mindless shoot-em-up genre – how it managed to bore me after I drank four glasses of Stella beer immediately beforehand. No gore, no real wit, convoluted story line, way too dark...no fucking cacodemon! IMDB lists an estimated budget of $70 million. I doubt that. This Aliens ripoff (Murdoch should litigate) looks like it cost $1 million. $900,000 for The Rock and $100,000 for catering. Ah fuck it. I'm still inebriated so I won't disgrace myself any further. Just avoid paying to see this commercial pile of cinematic puss. It looks censored, too. Admittedly I am sure I missed a few Doom III references in the film (I haven't tried that game because my current PC is so old it has trouble adding up two numbers). However, that does not change the fact that the movie smokes leper's dicks. Nice one, studio shitheads. I hope this flops. In fact, the balance sheet already looks worse than Exxon and Katrina and Iraq combined. Small comfort. Wolf Creek better live up to the hype, otherwise I'm going to give up on this lame-arse genre. |
cinema censored |
tuesday |
Local Hero +
An old Toxic Waste favourite, although it's not as romantic as I remember it being. The Roadshow DVD is only letterboxed, not anamorphic. Save your money. |
DVD |
monday |
Return of the Living Dead +
Halloween screening. It was kind of fun to revisit this 1980s horror comedy from Dan O'Bannon. His refined sense of the macabre plus his strength with B-movie dialogue and visuals clash with the goofy elements needed to satisfy the comedy mandate – it's like watching two movies at the same time. Still, while I have my reservations, the sequel is miles worse, then the series picks up again with the gorefest that is Part III. When are we going to get O'Bannon's The Resurrected on DVD? |
DVD censored? | Halloween +
Halloween screening. This is such a good film in all departments, and it still holds up. There's nothing much to add except to say: fer chrissakes see it if you've missed it so far. Pure muthafuggin' class all the way! |
DVD |
sunday |
A Kite
Continuing with the sexy yet deadly Japanese hit-girl theme, I chucked on this barbaric 1998 manga cartoon for a dose of scummy Sunday afternoon delight. The familiar story follows the plight of an orphaned teenager whose parents were gunned down in cold blood. Said teenager, who is of course unbearably cute, has no choice but to hook up with a crooked cop who moonlights as the leader of a sicko vigilante squad. The action, sex and violence in Kite are extreme – joyously so. Here is mainstream manga to rival Ninja Scroll. While it doesn't sink to the fun depths of your average hentai family movie, fans of dubious sleaze will enjoy certain aspects of Kite. Highly recommended. The prospect of Follywood hack director Rob Cohen (Dragonheart, xXx) adapting this manga as a live action movie has disaster written all over it. |
DVD |
saturday |
Azumi: Director's Cut
Well, this was something else. Tyro Japanese director Ryuhei Kitamura has crafted a better film than the fun but juvenile Versus – I was taken aback. The story telling, characters, production values and direction are all well handled. Particularly strong is Aya Ueto as the emotive assassin Azumi, who is as lethal as she is delicious. Although the body count is massive, the actual gore quotient is lower here than in Kitamura's earlier zombie film, so expect to see swords going into armpits, blades slashing across costumes with no blood showing, and off-screen killing strokes. (Takeshi Miike's Izo, which features a blade-weilding revenant, takes the same approach.) I saw the full 143 minute version on import Japanese DVD; this is the best way to see Azumi. Our Aussie disc is the punchier and less self-indulgent international release. The sequel Azumi II: Death or Love does not have Ryuhei Kitamura at the helm but retains the fabulous Aya Ueto in the lead role. Kitamura is, however, working on Versus II. |
DVD |
thursday |
Harold and Maude
Seldom Seen American Seventies Cinema screening. A real oddity from 1971, this Paramount production about two social misfits brings to mind later films like Amélie. I enjoyed it for sure. Whether you could call it a 'classic' movie though in the usual sense is debatable. The point behind these kinds of meandering narratives is to revel in the quirkiness of the characters, who do bizzare things at any time. An entire Cat Stevens album seemingly gets played during the film too, lending it a very sixties vibe. |
DVD |
monday |
Cursed
There is a good movie somewhere in here trying to get out. Scripted by Kevin Williamson and directed by Wes Craven, interference by Miramax via Dimension Films may have broken the movie beyond repair. The censorship sure as fuck didn't help. Christina Ricci is excellent and pretty much carries the picture. The inevitable lame CGI werewolf transformation occurs; generally the computer animation looks like crap. With a few exceptions, the standard of creature special effects is going backwards, especially in horror flicks. I get the feeling that none of these "mouse-clickers" (to borrow Jim Vanebber's phrase) are truly into fantasy films, let alone B-movie chillers like this one. Most CGI creatures just don't fucken work you idiots, let alone be scary. Overall, Cursed wasn't half as bad as I expected, really. Note that much of the missing gore appears in the DVD featurettes. |
DVD censored |
sunday |
Prophecy +
An old favourite of Stephen King, circa his Danse Macabre days anyway (have you started reading it yet, Heath?) The Paramount DVD is a great way to revisit this eco-horror movie from 1979, no doubt launched on unsuspecting audiences to cash-in on the success of Alien and Jaws. It does plod along in the first act, then slowly picks up the pace. Heath and I watched it together, and he made the valid point that genre B-movies from this era have a more realistic and earnest vibe about them, despite being bloody awful films, most of them. I will watch it again because Heath and I pretty much talked all the way through it, heh heh. After Ronin I will forgive the late John Frankenheimer this amusing misfire. |
DVD |
thursday |
Badlands
Seldom Seen American Seventies Cinema screening. For weeks I kept referring to this film as "The Malick", and I was not disappointed. I have no idea how it was received in the early 1970s – maybe Pauline Kael covered it in one of the books I own of hers. Badlands is a contained yet meticulous study of the banality of reckless homicide. Is it a Viet Nam film? Perhaps. There is a thread of black comedy running through it that steers you away from political readings, making you enjoy it for its own sake, with Martin Sheen as the polite sociopath who can't even get his own look, and Sissy Spacek as the dim, compliant Bonnie to his Clyde. There is something more sublime at going on here: it's like the whole movie is one long punchline. |
DVD |
sunday |
Hard to Kill +
Not quite as fun as Out for Justice, this Steven Seagal flick has a riveting story line that drives everything forward. The badass crooked cops must have the worst aim of any Hollywood thugs. Mason Storm's miraculous escape in one scene is too ridiculous for words, but somehow you gotta keep watching. And where's my Kelly le Brock? |
DVD |
saturday |
Rabid +
One of the weakest genre films in David Cronenberg's resumé, Rabid aka Rage still retains some nefarious delights for the stalwart fan. The anamorphic British DVD zooms the left and right sides off as soon as the letterboxed opening credits are finished. Look out for his new movie The History of Violence in cinemas now. Its classification was dropped from an R to an MA on appeal. |
DVD | BMX Bandits
It stars a young Nicki Kidman and was directed by Brian Trenchard-Smith of Turkey Shoot infamy. Obviously made for kids, so I won't waste bandwidth giving it a serious critique. There are some awesome BMX riding sequences, though. One chase lasts for about 15 minutes, and has the incredible moment where the kids ride onto a rugby field mid-game, intercept the ball, then pass it on to a charging forward, who scores a try. Me think it 'mazing. Also worth mentioning is the character Goose, who is a big horror fan and all-round student of the macabre – always talking about death, dismemberment and zombies. |
DVD |
Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit
According to Chris, this was four years in the making. For modern animation, that sounds about right. Like all Wallace and Gromit adventures, Curse of the Were-Rabbit has a plodding stiffness to it, especially in the first act. Once it gets cracking, the pace becomes breathless, with action and humour vying for your attention. The influence of the Dreamworks SKG money tree is apparent and inevitable. It seems that those hacks can only think in terms of parody these days. More innovative and entertaining (minute for minute) was the preceding Madagascar short appetizer. It alone was worth the price of admission. |
cinema |
thursday |
Network
Seldom Seen American Seventies Cinema screening. "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!" Good or interesting movies always prompt hearty discourse, sometimes even before the end credits are finished. The seven of us who saw Network pretty much charged into an animated, though somewhat beer-tinged, discussion about this hermetically sealed oddity from 1976. Initially, I only had moderate expectations for the film. Little did I know that behind the mundane title lurked an explosive, vitriolic tirade against television. In suicide bomber fashion, it launches attacks on (a) the corporate vultures and ideas people who can only think in terms of "points" and "market shares", (b) the zombified and ever obedient massmind TV audience, and (c) the clowns who appear on the tube. It was interesting to see these components echoed in the relationships between various characters, most poignantly when William Holden is first seduced by the TV-glamour babe before coming to his senses. Actually, you could write a thesis on this movie, which is the last and definitive word on mid-70s US television as a bankrupt artform. The script, acting, and direction are all first class – many scenes and performances just left our collective jaws swinging. Sometimes I thought I was watching something like Ken Russell's Tommy, or hearing passages from The Glass Teat by Harlan Ellison. It was tempting to give Network 10/10, except that it has not aged terribly well. The sentiments, however, are as relevant now as they ever were. More so, because this version of Network itself would never be conceived of today, much less get made. The director Sidney Lumet (Serpico, 12 Angry Men) is still out there making movies. |
DVD |
wednesday |
The Magician
A good laugh. It sags a bit in the middle section...yeah, just like virtually every movie ever made. Costing $3000, this production by frustrated filmmaker Scott Ryan trumps the other shot on video in Me!bourne affair, the 'not meant to be released' torture test Welcome to Greensborough. The Magician promises little but delivers a caustic (and strangely believable) 90 minute's worth of entertainment. My friends enjoyed it too. |
cinema |
friday |
Fluro Tan
This is a an impressive and professional documentary about shift workers made by James at over Hooverdust. Clocking in a 20 minutes, you get a candid glimpse behind the 'lives' of shelf packers doing the graveyard shift at a Melbourne Safeway store. The production is very polished and therefore holds your attention, thanks to the use of dissolves, tracking shots, smart editing, music, and other videographic techniques. The DVD has animated menus dominated by what else but a blinking fluorescent tube. |
DVD |
thursday |
Chinatown +
Seldom Seen American Seventies Cinema screening. Review pending. |
DVD |
monday |
Boy Meets Girl
Review pending. |
Pay-TV |
sunday |
It: The Terror from Beyond Space
Review pending. |
Pay-TV |
saturday |
Tales from the Darkside
Review pending. |
Pay-TV |
tuesday |
Class of 1984 +
Screening for a friend. |
DVD |
monday |
Pretty Baby
Review pending. |
DVD |
sunday |
Red Water
Review pending. |
DVD | All or Nothing
Review pending. |
DVD |
saturday |
The Pink Panther
Review pending. |
DVD |
tuesday |
Million Dollar Baby
Review pending. |
DVD | In the Cut
Review pending. |
DVD uncensored |
sunday |
xXx: The Next Level
Known in the US as xXx: the State of the Union, this sequel goes even further than its predecessor in terms of comic book excess. And actually, that statement is an insult to comic books and their creators, because they tend to be more considered than these slick, blow-em-up CGI action flicks. To get an idea of xXx II, think Charlies Angels: Full Throttle, with its video game set pieces, snappy bon mots, and cardboard characters. Luckily Ice Cube has decent screen presence, although he's a different animal entirely compared to Vin Diesel, whose character is dismissed here with a few terse and bitter lines of dialogue. I got the feeling Columbia Tri-Star were none too happy about having to recast their new Y-Generation James Bond action hero so soon. Ain't life a bitch? Anyway, it was ironic that I saw this film on Sept 11, since it boasts a US president in peril plot, complete with an RPG attack on the White House itself and the secretary of defense as the bad guy. Remember the days when Russia and South Africa were breeding grounds for Hollywood cartoon villains? Our DVD inherited a small cut made for the UK market. |
DVD censored | Strange Bedfellows
An amusing Aussie situation comedy with winning performances by Paul Hogan and Michael Caton. The usual rash of double-entendres and gay clichés emerge from the script by Stewart Faichney (usually an actor) and director Dean Murphy (Muggers), but the 6.6/10 average rating from IMDB says it all. I gave it a few more crumbs for the character (played by Glynn Nicholas) who pretended to be gay whilst shagging three local hotties behind closed doors. |
TV |
monday |
Scooby Doo II
I saw the original outing by myself at the cinema and pretty much giggled at anything that Shaggy (Matt Lillard) and Scooby said or did. The rest, apart from Velma's red skirt and boots, was tedious going. The same could be said of this sequel. To compare them properly I'd have to see the first film again, but in summary, I'd say the story of the second film (penned by James Gunn) is better, whereas the humour in the first movie was fresher and funnier. There are some hearty gags to enjoy here, as well as plenty of references to the cartoon series, so don't be put off if you're a nascent fan. |
DVD |
sunday |
Red Eye
An okay non-supernatural thriller from Wes Craven, just don't think about it too much. For example, I'm not sure that the terrorists chose the fastest or most subtle mode of transport for their escape, assuming they cared about being caught. On a popcorn munching level, it was fun to see this with an attentive, older mainstream audience who had swapped the idiot box for a rollercoaster ride at the local multiplex. That makes me feel all gooshy. |
cinema |
saturday |
The Bridge on the River Kwai +
A true classic. It has been over 15 years since I saw it on TV with the family. I had totally forgotten about the commando mission led by William Holden. Heh heh, that was fun to re-discover. Ditto the 'proper' English dialogue and Lean's expert direction. In general, the restored image quality is not as good as Lawrence of Arabia's, but I suppose it is the best we can expect for now. Viva original aspect ratios. |
DVD | Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (1971) +
I now find it difficult to watch everything to do with the factory tour proper. The beginning and ending are still terrific, and I suppose one has to remember that it's a kids movie first and foremost. I must have been watching At the Movies (which reviewed the remake) when the psycho tunnel sequence was playing – I wanted to see if it had been censored, as per the rumours. To my surprise, the remastered image quality revealed many apparently out of focus shots. Ooopse. |
TV |
saturday |
The Aviator
A new Martin Scorsese film is always something to celebrate. Leonardo DiCaprio tries hard to overcome being miscast as larger than life, more money than sense Howard Hughes. His performance works if you think of the story as an alternative history inspired by real events and people. Who else could do it? Maybe a realative unknown actor should have been given the chance. Too-clever computer effects set pieces jolt you out of the story every now and then; generally they are well integrated. Beyond all that, Scorsese succeeds at painting a portrait of an eccentric and ultimately likeable visionary from yesteryear. |
DVD |
wednesday |
Queen of the Damned
A bad movie by anyone's objective standards, it is nevertheless enjoyable enough as B-grade trash. Actually I could learn to love it the same way you hang on to old, disintegrating T-shirts. Being filmed in and around Melbourne gives it appeal, too. However, the likes of Blade and Underworld leave it for dead. My girlfriend says the book by Anne Rice is excellent and betters Interview with the Vampire, a novel I cannot finish. |
DVD |
tuesday |
Braindead +
Zombiethon DVD Madness screening. So far the only DVD release containing the complete version is the Spanish disc distributed by Manga Films in Barcelona. The American DVD titled Dead Alive is a shortened version supposedly edited and approved by Jackson himself. I have my doubts. A special edition DVD should not be too far away, surely. |
DVD | Shaun of the Dead +
Zombiethon DVD Madness screening. |
DVD |
sunday |
Kung Fu Hustle
It might take me another viewing to fully appreciate this manic fairytale from Stephen Chow, the creative force behind Shaolin Soccer. As promised, the slapstick comedy is hilarious, and the fight scenes are well choreographed and interesting. Bawdy supernatural elements and cartoonish gags push Kung Fu Hustle into that most rarified of genres, the self-indulgent, big budget fantasy epic. This approach is usually falls flat when made by a Hollywood studio, but here the absence of the usual safety net works in the film's favour. The only way to do fantasy is gung-ho all the way. I watched the uncut Hong Kong region 3 DVD from Columbia Tri-Star. |
DVD uncensored | Class of 1984 +
Review pending. |
DVD |
The Grudge (2004)
Review pending. |
DVD uncensored |
saturday |
Stuck on You
Review pending. |
DVD | Garfield
Review pending. |
DVD |
Gallipoli
Review pending. |
DVD |
friday |
Darkness
Review pending. |
DVD uncensored |
thursday |
I Walked with a Zombie +
Zombiethon DVD Madness screening. A spooky film classic is reduced to a giggle-fest with the consumption of a few beers. Or perhaps that was just Beth and I being our normal foolish selves? Nevermind...we had a good time supplying our own Mystery Science Theatre 3000 soundtrack to it. |
VHS | The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue +
Zombiethon DVD Madness screening. Somehow, this was better when I saw it at a horror movie festival in Leeds, England, with a cinema packed full of horror film buffs. It suffers because the filmmakers made the common mistake of thinking they were telling a serious story. Wrong. The tedious opening acts take forever to establish the background and characters. When the unliving ghouls finally starting killing people and eating flesh, it is admitedly raucous fun, with some choice gory moments. Pity about the padding. Also known as Let Sleeping Corpses Lie. |
DVD |
tuesday |
Constantine
Keanu Reeves' acting is so wooden, it left a pile of sawdust on the floor. The movie itself, a dark faery tale popped like a zit from the pages of Hellblazer the comic by Hollywood execs fishing for another franchise, contains enough macabre set pieces to keep you entertained. The influence of "fabulist" Clive Barker is everywhere – this is a good thing. What's not so great is the loose story line and lack of interest in the John Constantine character, who is so netherworldly weary that he is more of a phantom than his opponents. The production design and hi-tech/low impact CGI effects get you through the slow sections. |
DVD |
tuesday |
Land of the Dead
Here it is, the homework assignment for the Zombiethon DVD Madness! movie festival. With a decent budget behind him, George Romero tells a well-paced and violent story set in his living dead Dystopia. The zombies appear in the very first shot and don't disappoint. This time around, some have retained embers of their prior intelligence, or at least are able to act with a purpose and marshal themselves into a coordinated mob. Very entertaining. The living once again are a mixture of megalomaniacs (Dennis Hopper), thugs (John Legumizano) and squeaky clean nice-guy heroes (Simon Baker), who looks up at the sky – eyes all dewy with idealism – and longs for "a place without fences". Apart from Baker, Hopper and Asia Argento playing a tough hooker, the cast has a pleasing number of no-name but effective actors. For the most part, the story kicks along well, with shades of Knightriders, Dawn of the Dead and Day of the Dead thrown into the pot. The ending falls flat as it descends into a series of predictable and clichéd poetic justice pay-offs. You get the impression that studio intervention is to blame, with rumours of script re-writes doing the rounds. Even in its 'censored for dumbfuck US theatrical distribution' (CFDUSTD) version, Land of the Dead splashes a lot of red sauce around, making the Dawn of the Dead remake look like the lame video game that it is. Did anyone recognise Simon Pegg in zombie garb? I thought Romero cast him as a zombie in tribute to Shaun of the Dead. All in all, I'd see this again just for the zombies. The DVD will be uncut, but beware of the now standard double-dipping antics. |
cinema censored |
monday |
Meet the Fockers
It is good for a few laughs. I prefer the original movie...the 'cat litter' scene had me on the floor. |
DVD |
saturday |
In Like Flint
Review pending. |
DVD | Vampires +
Review pending. |
DVD |
friday |
Izo
MIFF screening. Review pending. |
cinema |
tuesday |
Four Rooms
Review pending. |
DVD |
monday |
Dumplings
Review pending. |
DVD |
sunday |
House of Wax (2005)
Review pending. |
cinema |
thursday |
The Evil Dead +
Zombiethon DVD Madness screening. Review pending. |
DVD | Day of the Dead +
Zombiethon DVD Madness screening. Review pending. |
DVD |
wednesday |
Secretary +
Review pending. |
DVD |
tuesday |
Dawn of the Dead (1978) +
Zombiethon DVD Madness screening. Granted, the 2003 revamp has its moments. However, individual scenes a classic do not make. A few beers after a long day at work in a dark lounge room turned this viewing into an endurance test. It's not possible to relish these films unless you like blood and gore for its own sake. |
DVD | Zombie Flesheaters / Zombie +
Zombiethon DVD Madness screening. What it lacks in sociopolitical commentary it makes up for with atmosphere and panache, if such as word can be used in the context of a Lucio Fulci horror film. It went down well with the z-fest punters. |
DVD uncensored |
thursday |
The Plague of the Zombies
Zombiethon DVD Madness screening. Another kooky period Hammer film from the 1960s remastered by Anchor Bay in the US. Nice job, boys! The zombies here sport very cool, kind of burnt porridge looking make-up. We had some fun with The Plague of the Zombies despite its sluggish middle section. My Hammer studio movie reference book gave it an excellent write-up, but I'm afraid the world has moved on from this quaintly chilling curio, hence a mediocre score of 6/10. |
DVD | Night of the Living Dead +
Zombiethon DVD Madness screening. Out of all the films shown for the Zombiethon festival, this one came closest to being what might be called genuine 'art'. Although I have seen it many times before, it was interesting and groovy to watch it with other people who were new initiates. Beth in particular seized upon Barbara as a reference point for ineffectual female and male protagonists in the subsequent zombie films we saw. |
DVD |
sunday |
School of Rock +
Screening for a friend. Stuff it, I'm going to upgrade its rating to 8/10. |
DVD |
thursday |
Sin City
My ex-flatmate Euan lent me his copies of the graphic novels by Frank Miller. I thoroughly enjoyed the hardboiled characters, back-alley sleaze, and outbreaks of ultra-violence. Miraculously, the movie retains these fine elements, although watered down (in a skillful manner) for mainstream consumption. It is still very much an adult movie that wallows in its pulp noir excesses. For that reason alone it is worth watching – just for the sheer delirious fun of it all. Robert Rodrigez wisely got creator Frank Miller involved in the production to the point of assigning him co-director credit. Fucking A. The live action approach works to varying degrees of success: the best segments are quick and sketchy, like the comic itself. Passages that most resemble a normal movie, for example the middle story, tend to drag, breaking the spell. Basically anything with Marv, Kevin, and that Yellow Bastard is superb. Great, leering use of women as tough sex objects, too. Ah, if only real life was like this. A longer DVD release has been mentioned by Rodrigez; nothing definite yet. |
cinema |
saturday |
Welcome to Greensborough
MUFF screening. Talk about false advertising. The MUFF programme states that this movie was the first Australian film ever to be banned, due to its underage sex scenes. I checked the OFLC database and found no entry for it, unless it has been renamed. Anyway, it is a shit movie. Shot with a Handycam of some description, the constantly moving and jerky image made me seasick – avoid watching it when hungover. This is a character piece, so do not expect kung fu, brawls in the Greensborough mall, graphic sex or even nudity. The only 'contraversial' part involves a suburban porno movie shoot that goes wrong. The actors were okay actually, and the filmmaker has a good sensitivity for drama, but Welcome to Greensborough should have remained on the shelf as a learning experience, as the director apparently intended. Kino projected it squashed into the wrong ratio, too. Maddening. |
cinema banned |
tuesday |
Millers Crossing
Here's one of the Coen Brothers movies I like. Somehow I just missed seeing it, or fell asleep when I put it on, due to being exhausted from my garage band, clubbing, boozing, fanzine editor, support team leader at work and ten pin bowling league lifestyle. Actually, since the story was totally fresh, the former reason might be more accurate. Good story, dialogue, acting, direction, ending, and it was more violent than expected. |
DVD | Chasing Amy +
Funny, funny flick. True, the Holden character is dim beyond belief. Get past that and this is Kevin Smith in top form. The new DVD from Hopscotch is anamorphic at long last. It is definitely time to rent Jersey Girl, too. |
DVD |
monday |
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
It really should get a 9/10. I couldn't fault it, but does it stand up to repeat viewings? Phillip Kaufman and his immaculate direction is the real fucking star of this movie. He strikes the perfect balance between art, characterisation and pragmatic story telling. Of course it should be seen projected in a revival house with your partner in your arms. Failing that, watching the current DVD at home alone while eating a bowl of Corn Flakes is adequate. |
DVD |
saturday |
War of the Worlds (2005)
Yep, it sucks. Steven Spielberg has delivered a $135 million dud. With an emotional emptiness worthy of a George Lucas CGI video game, War of the Worlds boasts some awesome visuals an tense moments but that's all. Fans of science fiction, and anyone science-oriented for that matter, may find that the dumb aspects ruin the experience – they did for me. For instance, are we supposed to believe that the alien search probe can't see in infrared, or that the aliens don't know about bacteria? I could have done without Tom Cruise singing, too. Dare I say it, both Independence Day and the 1953 George Pal version are better movies than this one. The story should have been revised or set at the turn of the century. As it stands, War of the Worlds '05 only succeeds on a popcorn munching level. The 1898 novel differs on these main points: it is set in England, the aliens are from Mars and crashland in huge cylinders, the Heat-Ray is invisible (as physics dictates), the electrical storm is natural, the Martians also deploy poisonous black smoke from canisters, a cylinder (not an airliner) wrecks a house, there are no annoying kids, the tripods have no force fields, the Martians drink blood but don't use it for fertiliser, and the nutter in the basement is a cleric. The fact that the aliens were not from Mars but some unknown origin made the whole "war of the worlds" idea moot. The book posits Earth and Mars in an intrasolar conflict. This movie has none of that vibe. How stupid, or to quote local author Robert Hood: "Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb..." Making Tom a crane driver was clever, at least. |
2005 cinema | Rowan Atkinson Live
Co-written by Atkinson, Ben Elton and Richard Curtis – all familiar names by now. Clocking in at about 67 minutes, this is champagne comedy from the rubber-faced funny man. The audience laughter sounded fake in some segments. The Aussie DVD has a "fuck" bleeped out and is missing the role call skit. The restaurant segment, which does not appears on the UK VHS release, was probably added as a replacement. |
VHS |
Out for Justice +
After watching War of the Worlds I had to see at least one good film today, the more violent the better. Choosing this Steven Seagull actioner fit the bill perfectly. I much prefer William Forsythe in this kind of role than in his later 'funny' parts. He is completely over the top here (in a good way), killing indisciminately and screaming out lines such as "Who's got the balls, huh?" and "Put him on a hook! Put him on a hook!". Also look out for Julianna Margulies in her first feature film. Screenwriter David Lee Henry also penned Roadhouse, 8 Million Ways to Die and The Evil that Men Do. Strangely, Out for Justice was his last gig. The lovely Aussie DVD from Warner Brothers does not look censored, since the bits mentioned on Melon Farmers are present. When I buy Hard to Kill and Under Seige uncut I'll own all four of Mr Seagal's best flicks on DVD (digitally violent disc). |
DVD |
The Gore Gore Girls
Heh heh heh. I had forgotten how entertaining Herchell Gordon Lewis movies can be. I've seen chunks of The Gore Gore Girls before. Seen as a feature it holds up well. The gore is cheesy and ultra low budget but somehow disturbing, too. The strip club milieu, with its cranky bar patrons and horny dancers, just adds to the decrepitude, while the antics of the urbane yet street wise private dick and his bubbly side-kick goes against the grain. Plenty good. "Stop bothering me!" |
DVD |
friday |
Ali G. Indahouse
Hmm, yeah. His TV show is much funnier. This works best when you least expect it to, otherwise the tedious plot recalls the bungled cinema debut of Mr Bean in Bean: the Movie. I wonder what Channel 10 censored? They broadcast a version of Se7en that was cut to ribbons. At least the profanity was intact. |
TV |
thursday |
Violence in a Women's Prison
Inspired by the Schapelle Corby saga, I decided to drag out this tame and lame WIP flick from yesteryear. The limited highlights include: wrestling in spilled shit, some softcore lez action, random female nudity, Lorraine De Salle (Cannibal Ferox) in tragic eyewear as the frisky wardeness, Indonesian trash queen Laura Gemser suffering various abuses, foam rubber truncheons, a very funny poofter inmate who eventually gets bashed, and a dull rape sequence. The tedious bits involve the usual suspects: do-gooders helping the down trodden (always a bad thing in WIP movies), the inevitable jail break plotting and escape, stupid tortures (rats, loud banging noises) and somnambulistic editing. What a waste of a great title. |
DVD | Versus
Another live action cartoon stitched together from a thousand genre influences. This Japanese guns-n-swords extravaganza goes in for the kill right from the start. There is a lot of cheese, the lowness of the budget is apparent, and nods to films like Evil Dead and The Matrix are blatant, but young tyro director Ryuhei Kitamura still forged something uniquely his own in the process. Furthermore, subtract the zombies and add Yakuza gangsters, and you've got Kill Bill, more or less. Having finally seen Versus, I now want to see the uncut version, followed by the 143 minute director's cut of Azumi. |
DVD censored |
tuesday |
Fear of a Black Hat: This is Spinal Rap
Not bad, not great either. The spoof rap band NWH (Niggers with Hats) features Ice Cold, Tasty Taste and DJ Tone Def. It gave this patient viewer some good laughs and guffaws after a long day in the office. For instance, I liked the bit where their band manager is talking on his mobile phone and gets shot in the stomach during a scuffle. As he starts to collapse he says calmly, "Sorry, I have to call you back". The creative force behind it all is director, writer and star Rusty Cundieff, who plays Ice Cold – he even looks and sounds like bloody Ice-T. His film tries hard to be funnier than This is Spinal Tap, and minute for minute it probably is, especially with an album's worth of songs and videos that lampoon various rap staples thrown into the mix. The shitty looking DVD from Farce Video has all of the music clips (35 mins) including tracks like 'Ice Froggy Frog' that didn't make it into the film, interviews with the cast (48 mins), deleted scenes (30 mins), and trailers. I couldn't take it all in. |
DVD |
sunday |
Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Rollicking good fun. Robert 'The One Man Film Crew' Rodrigez comes up trumps again. Shot in HD video, this sequel to Desperado caps off his so-called Mexican trilogy in grand style. I'm not a big fan of the previous movies, but still enjoyed this one in spite of the frenetic pace, which leaves no time for finesse or subtlety. An extra ten minutes of breathing space would have helped. I could also bitch about some sloppy special effects, except that the film is so cartoonish it would be like whinging about poor continuity in an episode of Benny Hill. The DVD includes some of the most engaging featurettes I have ever seen, as well as another superb commentary track by Rodrigez. For me From Dusk Till Dawn is his best picture. I wonder if he'll ever have the patience to be another Peter Jackson? Time will tell. The inclusion of more and more slapstick comedy is worrying. Genre stablemate Sam Raimi seems to have outgrown it. |
DVD | Batman Begins
Take the title literally. Like an episode of This is Your Life, the movie really does show the origins of Batman V4.0 in methodical detail. In its favour are: director Chris (Memento) Nolan; a solid cast that includes Gary Oldman, Rutger Hauer, Michael Caine, Katie Holmes and Morgan Freeman; fine special effects; appropriately gothic production design reminiscent of The Crow; effective humour; an interesting plot, and themes that at least try to add some depth. Working against it are: muddled secondary characters; the limited acting range of Christian Bale; the miscasting of Liam Neeson; choppy and bloodless fight scenes, and the usual super hero albatross. I say that because the set-up leads to what might have been an excellent story that could have worked without Batman, capes, and the tired cliché of using emotional baggage to explain character motivation. I guess what I'm railing against is not the film itself but super hero tropes in general. Since I voluntarily paid to see it I shouldn't act so surprised, mumble grumble... |
cinema |
saturday |
Collateral
Not to be confused with the Arnie S. action film Colesterol Damage, this is the latest movie from auteur director Michael Mann. (Seemingly, I am the last person on Earth to see it.) The good news is that Collateral trumps the disappointing Ali, but it does not match Mann's peak one-two punch of Heat and The Insider, both of which I consider to be modern classics. That's OK. Mann earned his salary and delivered an entertaining formulaic thriller that uses common sense to win the audience over. Gee, what a novel idea. Genre fans may find its violence light-on, and Tom Cruise is never required to deliver more than a one dimensional performance – most of the drama is carried by Foxx and the welcome casting of Mark Ruffallo in a part that might have been written for The Shield. The scene where Cruise drops two thugs by firing five rounds during 30 frames of film (1.2 seconds of real time) is impressive and scary. |
DVD | Species III
How can I give Collateral and this monster movie the same rating? Well, it's all relative. After hating Species and Species II, my expectations for this follow up from MGM were zilch. It turns out though that this sequel, shot on hi-def for a direct to video release, holds its own quite well. With references to the Iraq war and online auctions, the script feels utterly contemporary. The writer also put a premium on that neglected tool of story telling, the good old internal logic. Finally and most importantly, exploitation elements from the earlier films have been retained, namely: gory deaths, female nudity, alien autopsies, biomechaniod shape shifting, cocoons, and so on. The variable acting is adequate for the production, and some well-timed humour stops it from becoming too serious. Give it a try. |
DVD |
tuesday |
Bed and Board
Review pending. |
DVD | Les Diabolique
Scary in its day, this now moderate and predictable French chiller is worth catching to round out any self-respecting horror fan's genre knowledge. The creepy highlights will unsettle most viewers, although much of it is all talky and no actiony – Freddy and Jason lovers might want to skip it grab Seed of Chucky instead. The DVD transfer from Criterion was worse than expected. |
DVD |
monday |
Seed of Chucky
This. Is. Shit. And censored, too. A couple of bloody death scenes don't save it from terminal jokiness. The Chucky franchise stopped being horrific after...well, has it ever been good? I bought the first film on DVD cheap but have not played it yet. I remember it being moderately effective – better at least than most of the killer doll films that flooded the home video market during the 1980s. Seed of Chucky does have some amusing sight gags and irreverent in-jokes, plus a fantastic decapitation gore effect and John Waters in a supporting role as a voyeuristic photographer. However, listening to the DVD commentary track, you realise that writer/director Don Mancini is (creatively) a total fucktard. "Ooh yeah, this is a cool nod to DePalma, and these neat colours were done like Argento's Suspiria." Pay these filmmakers a real compliment by quitting the movie business, you talentless hack. |
DVD censored |
sunday |
The Deadly Spawn +
An old horror fossil from the shales of the early 1980s. Like Squirm and other similar beasts, this was made with flair and enthusiasm in lieu of technical skill or production value. Wow, it's been almost 20 years since I rented the VHS tape. I remembered the gore but little else, hence it was fun to rediscover the aunty who gushes about her horror film buff nephew, and watch the astronomy nerd crack on to his biology student female friend. This is another DVD from Synapse, who struck this transfer from the original negatives – the head chomping mayhem of The Deadly Spawn has never looked this good. Two commentaries are also included, and renowned macabre artist Wes Benscoter painted the effective cover. |
DVD | Arachnid
Here we go. With ten times the budget of The Deadly Spawn, this creature feature just doesn't cut it. Another Spanish Fantasy Factory production helmed by Brian Yuzna, this one boasts Jack Sholder (Alone in the Dark and < |